Why Does It Always Happen to Me?

I have always enjoyed taking personality tests of various kinds because of the insights I have gained about myself and others. A number of years ago a counselor friend of mine introduced me to the Enneagram. I became fascinated with this look at personality types not so much for what I learned about personalities but for what I learned about sin. The supposition of the Enneagram is that each personality type is susceptible to a particular type of sin[1]. For instance, on the Enneagram a “one” is also called “The Reformer.” Ones tend to struggle with anger. Type two, “The Helper,” wrestles with pride, and so forth up through nine.

This fascinated me for two reasons. As a pastor, helping people understand the power of sin, how it works, and how God’s grace releases us from its power has always been important to me. Secondly, reading about the Enneagram helped me understand patterns that I have seen in people’s lives. In talking with a young woman about her third failed relationship, she said to me, “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I find a decent guy? Why do I always end up with these losers?” I remember trying to tell her as kindly as I could that the answer was very simple. She attracted them and then chose them.

How many times I have heard people ask the same question, “Why does it always happen to me?” This study is intended to share insights that I have gained from 30 years of pastoral ministry and what I observed reading about the Enneagram[2]. It is my prayer that you will gain insight into some of the patterns that have developed in your life which often get you into trouble.
[1] Sin is defined as a human bent toward breaking the law of God and/or the action of breaking that law
[2] Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Bantam Books, New York, 1999