This is not intended to be another self-help guide. That is to identify the problem and then offer steps that you do to fix it. Instead, the first part of each section is intended to help you understand how a particular sin works by examining the life of a biblical character who struggled with that sin. The examination of the fruit of the Spirit that follows is intended to show what God produces in the place of sin and how he does it.

What makes this important is that there is no way to self-help yourself out of sin. To attempt to do so only leads to a self-righteous, “at least I’m not as bad as others,” or a shameful, “I can’t do any differently.” If we are careful to look at what God has done about sin through the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and what he continues to do about sin through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, then real progress can be made and growth becomes possible.

When we look at sin from this perspective, we can better understand the choices we have when faced with our sin. Unfortunately, when we look bad choices we have made, we can be haunted by guilt or shame, or we may justify the choice by hiding from it, explaining, or blaming it away. To deal with our sin, God wants to move us beyond guilt or justification. He calls us to repentance.

Unfortunately, the picture most have is an angry preacher whose necktie is too tight, whose face is red, whose voice is high pitched and shouting, telling his audience to turn or burn. This picture is then superimposed on John the Baptist or Jesus when they extend God’s call to repentance. We cannot read the tone of their voices when they spoke, but I believe it was not in the manner described above.

In the parable of the Lost Sheep in Luke 15, Jesus describes repentance as process through which a lost sheep is found by her good shepherd. It is only when the sheep is found does she have choices. The only option available to her before being found is to die. The rejoicing that takes place after the sheep is found is not to celebrate the choice of the sheep to come home with the shepherd but the skill and success of the shepherd in finding the sheep.

Jesus used this picture to describe his ministry. Before we are found by Jesus our options are limited and ultimately lead to our destruction. As C.S. Lewis says our ability to make choices and follow those choices will always be bent. No matter how noble our goal, the power of sin always bends our path in such a way that we never arrive where we intend. We are left to comfort ourselves with our good intentions since we will always miss our mark. After being found by Jesus and his bringing us to faith, we have real choices we can make concerning our sin.

When Jesus works in us repentance, the Holy Spirit also plants inside of us the fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, and so forth (Gal 5:22-23). When Jesus finds us, we are led to confess our sin to God. We are then forgiven for Jesus’ sake. Jesus turns us away from our sin and the Holy Spirit begins to manifest his fruit inside of us.

In this study when I speak of the choices we have to make regarding our sin, I do so from this perspective. The questions are intended to help identify how a particular sin works in our lives. Before you look at the study on any sin, ask the Holy Spirit to convict you where you are guilty and only where you are guilty. If you are found guilty, confess that sin to God knowing that he will forgive you (1 John 1:8-9). Look at the study on the fruit of the Spirit that follows not as a self-help study but rather as an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to show you how that fruit works in your life. In other words, the purpose of the study is to help you practice what the Holy Spirit has given you already by faith.

Sin is subtle. It bends the little choices we make in ways we are often not aware. It is not until we begin to examine some of the patterns in our lives or are confronted by some of our behaviors that we begin to recognize where we have come. This study is intended to show you your sin. More than that it is to show you that your relationship to God is not based on what you have done but on what God has done for you at the cross of his Son, Jesus Christ (John 3:16). The benefits of what Christ has done are received through faith alone (Eph 2:8-10). It is through Jesus Christ and the working of the Holy Spirit that our lives are transformed. May this transforming power be at work in you as you go through this study.

Why Does It Always Happen to Me?

I have always enjoyed taking personality tests of various kinds because of the insights I have gained about myself and others. A number of years ago a counselor friend of mine introduced me to the Enneagram. I became fascinated with this look at personality types not so much for what I learned about personalities but for what I learned about sin. The supposition of the Enneagram is that each personality type is susceptible to a particular type of sin[1]. For instance, on the Enneagram a “one” is also called “The Reformer.” Ones tend to struggle with anger. Type two, “The Helper,” wrestles with pride, and so forth up through nine.

This fascinated me for two reasons. As a pastor, helping people understand the power of sin, how it works, and how God’s grace releases us from its power has always been important to me. Secondly, reading about the Enneagram helped me understand patterns that I have seen in people’s lives. In talking with a young woman about her third failed relationship, she said to me, “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I find a decent guy? Why do I always end up with these losers?” I remember trying to tell her as kindly as I could that the answer was very simple. She attracted them and then chose them.

How many times I have heard people ask the same question, “Why does it always happen to me?” This study is intended to share insights that I have gained from 30 years of pastoral ministry and what I observed reading about the Enneagram[2]. It is my prayer that you will gain insight into some of the patterns that have developed in your life which often get you into trouble.
[1] Sin is defined as a human bent toward breaking the law of God and/or the action of breaking that law
[2] Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Bantam Books, New York, 1999