joy 5

What does joyful behavior look like? Paul goes on to explain (Phil 4:8), “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Shifting our thinking process from anger and all its companions to these things that are excellent and praiseworthy gives a new perspective on life and sees the abundance of this fruit called joy.

The process begins by accepting that truth is not what our anger and self-pity seek to define it. Instead truth aspires to qualities such as nobility as illustrated by our earlier discussion of gentleness. Truth not merely seeks what is right but what is righteous. God had the right to destroy us because of our sin. He chose to do what was righteous and sacrificed his only Son for our sin so that we could be made right with him through faith. Truth delights in forgiveness because it is through forgiveness that purity is possible. Truth does not confuse love and lust thus seeing creation through new eyes. Finally, truth seeks not the admiration of the world but the approval of God. These things are excellent and praiseworthy. These are the things to which we are to shift our thoughts when anger would drive out joy.

Paul sees joy as more than a way of thinking for he goes on to say (Phil 4:9), “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” This goes back to what was said earlier about choosing friends and associates. It is good for us to think about the things Paul listed above, but it is powerful when we connect ourselves with others who think the same way. This moves the ideas and concepts we have of joy into everyday living. Paul modeled the joyful life for the Philippians. It is important to find examples who will model the joyful life, learn from them, receive from them, hear from them, see in them the truth described earlier, and then put it into practice.

Finally, joy produces contentment. Paul says in verse twelve, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” Paul’s secret is well expressed in the Serenity Prayer of A.A.

God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

What a wonderful prayer for those who struggle with anger and seek to practice joy.

joy 4

Before we go any further, let’s go back to Philippians four verse four, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” It is helpful to think of joy as a process word. This is the essence of what Paul is saying about joy. Joy is not a destination on the journey of life. It is a companion. Joy is an attitude that must be practiced daily. In my own life it is often moment-to-moment. For me joy is the most fragile of fruit. I dare not take it for granted for one moment or it suddenly is gone. If you struggle with anger, the practice of gentleness, the Lord’s presence, and thanksgiving will often be a moment-to-moment exercise. The good news is that joy is fruit of the Holy Spirit. His desire is to produce that joy in us. He will never abandon us in our desire to discover more of the power of this precious fruit.

What flows from this precious fruit is the peace of God. In verse seven, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Notice Paul does not say “might.” He says, “will guard your hearts and your minds.” What is it about this peace that is so powerful? Peace is not the absence of war or conflict. In the Scriptures peace is the wholeness and presence of God. Peace is not a feeling. It is the action of God bringing wholeness and his presence into the believer’s life. Peace is important because its purpose is to stand as a guard or sentry over the heart, which is the “wellspring of life” (Prov 4:23). This action of God causes action in us regarding how we deal with our anger.

We practice the peace of God when we don’t indulge poor learned habits. If anger is a problem in our lives, it means that we have picked up some bad habits through our life. Often these habits have been learned from our family and reinforced by our friends. When God forgives our sins, he sets us on a new path of living which means leaving behind old habits so that new ones can replace them. What is often overlooked in this process is that it begins by looking for new friends and associates (Prov 22:24-25). If those around us practice the same poor habits we are trying to get rid of, we will always be pulled back into those old habits. If we hang around angry people, we will be angry.

Secondly, understand what pushes your hot buttons. Taking time for this self-examination can pay rich dividends. You can learn what situations to avoid. You can practice new behaviors in response to the things that make you angry. You can turn these hot buttons over to the Lord through confession. You can talk about these issues with a friend who will be honest with you or, if necessary, a therapist or counselor. By these actions you gain wisdom which allows you to “overlook an offense” rather than getting angry (Prov 19:11).

Finally, change angry behavior (Col 3:8). Anger that is improperly handled eventually exacts a price (Prov 19:19). Depressions, lost jobs, family hurt, self-medicating, and broken relationships are but a few of the consequences of angry behavior. Anger creates habits and coping skills that hurt self and others. Choosing to act differently than what anger dictates is a way to change your feelings of anger. For those who struggle with anger, it is unlikely that personal discipline, even under the Spirit’s guidance, will be enough to change. Placing yourself in an accountability relationship with friends who can encourage you is important. These friends can model good behavior, show you when you are behaving poorly, and provide a safety net of encouragement and prayer.

joy 3

Paul continues (Phil 4:6), “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” The opposite of anger is not the absence of anger. The opposite of anger is being full of joy. So too the opposite of worry is not the absence of worry, but being filled with thanksgiving. Worry and anger are close cousins. They feed and care for one another. If we don’t deal with the worry, we won’t be successful in dealing with our anger. Thus Paul’s counsel here becomes important.

When one is worried, it is very hard to be thankful. The reason is simple. Worry is idolatry (Matt 6:24-25). Worry says of God that he is unable to control the uncertainties of life. Worry argues that God is not doing enough to handle the situation. Worry’s consolation is that at least it is doing something. It is worrying. That is more than what God is doing at that moment. Thus the door is opened for anger to come in and create resentment toward God.

This is why Paul first affirmed the presence of the Lord. The presence of the Lord creates the perfect climate for praise and thanksgiving. The spirit of the believer in response to the Holy Spirit naturally wants to thank and praise God. It is this aid of the Holy Spirit that frees us to practice thanksgiving. Thanksgiving drives out the worry and its cousin anger.
At this point it is well to say something about grief and the process of thanksgiving. One huge reason for worry and anger being so hard to drive out is that we often fail to properly grieve our losses. We live in a culture that is always in a hurry and wants quick, simple solutions to life’s problems. Unfortunately, most of life’s problems are not so easily fixed. With the rapid pace of life we easily become a repository for unresolved losses. We bound from financial setbacks to relationship failures to health crisis to family problems without ever having time to process the things we have lost at each point on the way. It becomes easy to be fearful of what may happen next and thus give worry a foothold. It is easy to build defenses against the hurt that is felt, which can produce a great deal of anger. There is no energy left to be thankful.

Part of the process of thanksgiving ironically is mourning. When we mourn, we stop to acknowledge our loss. That is why we have funerals. When we mourn, we take time to feel our pain at the loss. When we mourn, we look for a source of comfort. As Christians, we look for that source in a loving God who shared our loss at the cross of his Son and overcame our loss when he raised Jesus from the dead. It is this Jesus who is with us to mourn our loss and is able to give genuine comfort (Matt 5:4). It is in that comfort that we find a new beginning, which produces thanksgiving that flows from the heart. With every loss and failure comes the comfort and hope of a new beginning. With every death comes the hope of resurrection. This is what gives thanksgiving its resilience.

joy 2

In Philippians 4:5 Paul continues, “The Lord is near.” Here he invites us to practice the Lord’s presence. When we are angry, the Lord does not appear to be very near. The Holy Spirit invites us to consciously note the Lord’s presence even when we are angry so that our anger can be turned into joy. He does that by inviting us to make honest confession of our sins (1 John 1:8-9). That is the first step in getting “rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Eph 4:32) In confession we take ownership for where we have allowed anger to control our lives. When we do this honestly with God, his promise is that he forgives our sins and makes us clean.

It is this cleanness that establishes our worth. The reason criticism can get a hold in our lives is because there is usually some truth in it. Anger internalizes the criticism. Confession turns it over to the Lord. What is true about our wrong is confessed and then forgiven by God. What is not true is turned away because it does not belong to us as forgiven, cleansed children of God. It is the fruit of joy that Holy Spirit uses to give this perspective.

That cleanness enables us to be forgiving, even toward our critics (Eph 4:32). Letting go of the right to be anger is the first step in this process of forgiving. Then we lose the need to be angry. Then we are free to love the object of our anger. This is what the Lord did (Luke 23:34). This is what the Lord’s presence enables us to do. It is marvelous that we can experience the Lord’s presence when we read the promises of Scripture (Ps 119:28, 50; Rom 1:16), when we share those promises in conversation with other Christians (James 5:16a; Matt 18:20), and especially when we receive the body and blood of our Lord in the bread and wine of Holy Communion (Matt 26:26-28).

The result of the Lord’s presence is healing for the Christian community. The Lord’s presence draws us together as the people of God. The barriers that divide us are broken down by his presence. We see the Lord’s presence in the faces of other believers. With the joy provided by the Holy Spirit, we gladly use our gifts for the common good (1 Cor 12:7) and grow together in Christ (Eph 4:15-16). Being present in this Christian community provides a wonderful antidote for bitterness and anger. In this community we find support, encouragement, and accountability in our battle with the sin of anger.

Joy replaces Anger

The problem with harboring anger is that one is left with a lot of bitterness, self-pity, and a lousy attitude. When God forgives our sins of anger, the Holy Spirit replaces the anger with something new and refreshing. We receive the fruit of the Spirit known as joy. Turning to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, especially the fourth chapter, we see how amazing that joy really is.

Paul wrote this letter from prison. He was not a free man when he wrote, yet he wrote as the freest of men. His counsel from prison was to rejoice. When we sit in our own prison of self-pity and anger, what wonderful counsel it is to bring us freedom.

Paul understood that joy was not something we manufacture inside ourselves. It is fruit that the Holy Spirit bears in our lives. He does that by empowering certain practices in our lives. Let’s look at what they are.

Paul says in verse five that you practice joy when you “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” To make this happen the Holy Spirit has to do two things. First, he takes from us our legal rights. That is total opposite of what anger demands. To be gentle is to give up any claim we have to restitution for what wrongs have been done us. This gentleness is illustrated in God through Jesus Christ. God did not treat us according to what justice demanded concerning our disobedience to him. Jesus instead took our punishment on the cross. Because of what Jesus did for us, God can now be gentle with us by being kind, patient, and generous toward us.

Anger is quick to demand justice and, if left to fester, revenge. The Holy Spirit frees us to turn the issue of justice over to God and empowers us to love our enemies (Matt 5:43-48). This love may never equate to liking an enemy, but it will show itself in gentle ways we deal with our enemy. This gentle choice is available to us by the working of the Holy Spirit.

Second, the Holy Spirit points to the sun. In Ephesians 4:26 he says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” He does not expect us to simply drop our anger or ignore it. He does not expect us to solve every problem before sundown. He enables us to process the anger. This happens when we turn our need for justice and revenge over to the Lord. This happens when we reflect on the love and forgiveness that is freely ours in Jesus. This happens when we make the choice to be gentle rather than vengeful. It is then that we are able to listen rather than speak and slow down the process of anger by not allowing it to fester in our lives (James 1:19-20).