Let’s review what the fruit of the Holy Spirit called patience produces in our lives.
1. It moves us toward Jesus (John 11:20-22).
2. It creates honesty about our motives (John 11:21).
3. It teaches us to develop healthy boundaries (John 11:22).
4. It teaches us to recognize the affection and good wishes of others (John 11:23-24).
5. It causes us to properly reevaluate what we believe about Jesus, life, and death (John 11:24-26).
6. It causes us to reaffirm our faith in Christ (John 11:27)
7. It causes us to reaffirm our worth in Christ
8. It causes us to serve with a new spirit (John11:28)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
PATIENCE 4
Pride looks to what we have accomplished to establish our sense of worth. Patience looks to what we have received from Christ to know that we have worth. When Martha received Jesus into her home, she attempted to establish her worth in Jesus’ eyes through all her preparations. Thus Mary’s failure to help her and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern for Mary’s laziness was seen by Martha as undermining her worth as a person. Martha learned from that encounter. This time she was not focused on any preparations. She was free to focus on Jesus and what he desired to bring to her life at that moment. What she got was the love of Christ and a reaffirming of her faith in Christ. What a different Martha we see.
Grace is favor given even when there is no merit to earn that favor. Grace looks solely to the merits of Jesus earned for us at the cross. Grace gives us worth apart from what we have done or will ever do. Patience is simply living out this gift. Patience allows this gift to unfold in our lives under its own terms. Patience is impossible without the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives because it does not come to us naturally. That is why Paul calls it a fruit of the Spirit. When the Spirit is allowed to produce this fruit in our lives, others see our tremendous worth. That takes us to our last point.
When Jesus visited Martha’s home, she capped the evening with some very harsh words about her sister. Her goal for the evening had been to serve. Pride turned the evening into a frustrating disaster for her. It is a much different Martha who leaves Jesus this time and goes back to her sister. She calls her sister aside from all the other mourners and tells her of Jesus’ arrival. She refers to Jesus as “The Teacher.” When Jesus visited her home, he had come as teacher. This was quite and honor since his students were women. Teachers in Jesus’ day did not teach women. This time Martha had learned from the Teacher and was eager for her sister to receive as well.
When patience is at work, the stress level drops because the concern is no longer on what I want to do. Instead the concern is what does Jesus want me to receive and how does he want me to share it with others. Jesus taught this kind of patience by the example of his own ministry. He came not to be served but to serve (Matt 20:28). His life was focused on what his Father had given him and lived according to how that best could be shared with the world. For Jesus, that meant the cross. While he was on earth, he never used his power as the Son of God for himself. He used it in service to God and to us.
Through the working of the Holy Spirit, Jesus promises to work that kind of patience in each one of us. As we practice this fruit in our lives, we come to appreciate more deeply the love and the power of God.
Grace is favor given even when there is no merit to earn that favor. Grace looks solely to the merits of Jesus earned for us at the cross. Grace gives us worth apart from what we have done or will ever do. Patience is simply living out this gift. Patience allows this gift to unfold in our lives under its own terms. Patience is impossible without the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives because it does not come to us naturally. That is why Paul calls it a fruit of the Spirit. When the Spirit is allowed to produce this fruit in our lives, others see our tremendous worth. That takes us to our last point.
When Jesus visited Martha’s home, she capped the evening with some very harsh words about her sister. Her goal for the evening had been to serve. Pride turned the evening into a frustrating disaster for her. It is a much different Martha who leaves Jesus this time and goes back to her sister. She calls her sister aside from all the other mourners and tells her of Jesus’ arrival. She refers to Jesus as “The Teacher.” When Jesus visited her home, he had come as teacher. This was quite and honor since his students were women. Teachers in Jesus’ day did not teach women. This time Martha had learned from the Teacher and was eager for her sister to receive as well.
When patience is at work, the stress level drops because the concern is no longer on what I want to do. Instead the concern is what does Jesus want me to receive and how does he want me to share it with others. Jesus taught this kind of patience by the example of his own ministry. He came not to be served but to serve (Matt 20:28). His life was focused on what his Father had given him and lived according to how that best could be shared with the world. For Jesus, that meant the cross. While he was on earth, he never used his power as the Son of God for himself. He used it in service to God and to us.
Through the working of the Holy Spirit, Jesus promises to work that kind of patience in each one of us. As we practice this fruit in our lives, we come to appreciate more deeply the love and the power of God.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
PATIENCE 3
Pride builds a fortress of sticks. A strong wind or a careless fire and its gone. As a result pride is always fearful of the unforeseen and must always control those around it lest they carelessly destroy what it has built. Pride wishes to present a good face to the world through its acts of charity but lives with the knowledge of just how hollow that face is. Pride believes only in itself thus has worry as its high priest. Such is the insecurity of pride.
Patience invites us to shift focus from pride to the one who gives genuine security. In raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus showed his power over life and death. “I am the resurrection and the life…whoever lives and believes in me will never die,” says Jesus. How do you find greater security than that? Patience can afford to be patient because it knows who has the final say about life and death. Patience knows it can risk love because it is ultimately and always loved by Jesus. Patience invites us to not only confess our sins and receive forgiveness and cleansing but it urges us to stop for a moment and reflect on the great mystery of this high love Jesus has for us. This reflection gives perspective on life.
Reevaluation leads to reaffirmation. What a beautiful testimony Martha gave to who Jesus was. Her testimony showed tremendous insight into Jesus and his mission in this world. She saw him as the “Christ,” the Anointed or Chosen one, whom God had sent to save her people.[1] Martha also recognized that in Jesus she was seeing no ordinary man. He was also the “Son of God.” In Jesus God had taken human flesh to fulfill God’s plan to save the world. This Jesus would rescue her brother from death. She was safe putting Lazarus in his hands.
Patience enables us to reaffirm our faith in Jesus as the Christ. As Martha’s loss found resurrection in Jesus, so too our losses find new life. Christ gives us the power to turn our deepest needs over to him. We need not attempt to control or manipulate but simply receive what Christ will give confident of his power and goodness.
[1] The title “Christ” means “Anointed One”. Priests and kings were installed into office by having scented oil poured over their heads. The title “Anointed One” came to summarize for Israel her hopes that God would send one who would ultimately rescue Israel.
Patience invites us to shift focus from pride to the one who gives genuine security. In raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus showed his power over life and death. “I am the resurrection and the life…whoever lives and believes in me will never die,” says Jesus. How do you find greater security than that? Patience can afford to be patient because it knows who has the final say about life and death. Patience knows it can risk love because it is ultimately and always loved by Jesus. Patience invites us to not only confess our sins and receive forgiveness and cleansing but it urges us to stop for a moment and reflect on the great mystery of this high love Jesus has for us. This reflection gives perspective on life.
Reevaluation leads to reaffirmation. What a beautiful testimony Martha gave to who Jesus was. Her testimony showed tremendous insight into Jesus and his mission in this world. She saw him as the “Christ,” the Anointed or Chosen one, whom God had sent to save her people.[1] Martha also recognized that in Jesus she was seeing no ordinary man. He was also the “Son of God.” In Jesus God had taken human flesh to fulfill God’s plan to save the world. This Jesus would rescue her brother from death. She was safe putting Lazarus in his hands.
Patience enables us to reaffirm our faith in Jesus as the Christ. As Martha’s loss found resurrection in Jesus, so too our losses find new life. Christ gives us the power to turn our deepest needs over to him. We need not attempt to control or manipulate but simply receive what Christ will give confident of his power and goodness.
[1] The title “Christ” means “Anointed One”. Priests and kings were installed into office by having scented oil poured over their heads. The title “Anointed One” came to summarize for Israel her hopes that God would send one who would ultimately rescue Israel.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
PATIENCE 2
In Luke 10 when Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, her motive was to exchange good hospitality for his affection. It ended in disaster for Martha. This encounter is much different. Like the visit to her home, she is upset and disappointed by Jesus’ apparent inattention to her need. This time, however, she presents her need and her feelings without the anger and frustration present before. Her focus was on Jesus not any preparations. She was free from the tension of “Let’s make a deal.”
Spirit-produced patience moves us beyond the need to bargain with Jesus for what we want. Before it does that it first enables us to be honest with God about why we want what we want. The role of confession is vital at this point. Daily confession is not for the purpose of rehashing our sins. Its purpose is to provide a setting for an honest look at what motivates our actions. We then take responsibility for our sinful motives and actions. God responds by forgiving our sin for the sake of Christ’s payment for our sin on the cross. Not only does he forgive us but also he goes on to purify the motives of our hearts (1 John 1:8-9). All this the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to prepare us to bring our requests to God.
When Jesus visited Martha’s house, she had an issue with Mary and her failure to help her in the kitchen. But it was Jesus who caught the brunt of her anger. Martha had failed to establish healthy boundaries. Her preparations took her to the point of exhaustion and total frustration rather than to service. Her worrying and stewing over Mary’s failure to help and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern led her to be very rude to her house guest. Her outburst brought a reprimand from Jesus.
The fruit of patience brought a different Martha to Jesus this time. Instead of anger and frustration demanding that Jesus take action, Martha patiently presented her need concerning her brother. Once our motives have been clarified and purified through confession and forgiveness, we too will find that our emotions do not have as much power to force us beyond healthy boundaries whether in our relationship to God or to others. Patience helps us to seek not merely what is right from our perspective but to receive from God what is righteous in his eyes. Patience helps us recognize when we are pushing ourselves too far. Patience shifts our focus from self and self-pity to Christ and his love for us.
In this brief exchange between Jesus and Martha, we can sense that Martha genuinely accepts Jesus’ words of comfort. Pride is always suspicious of the motives of others. It always reads into others’ words of comfort and affection its own selfishness and ambition. It ultimately robs us of the very thing we desperately seek, which is the love and affection of others.
Patience given by the Holy Spirit produces much different fruit. It recognizes that not everyone will express affection the way we might. It is willing to give others the benefit of the doubt when they do not respond to our acts of affection the way we think they should. It rejoices in the moments of intimacy we are given with friends and loved ones. It enables us to let go of times when we are unappreciated. Patience always reminds us that our worth is in the one who died for us and rose again to give us eternal life. His first motive in dealing with us is always love.
Spirit-produced patience moves us beyond the need to bargain with Jesus for what we want. Before it does that it first enables us to be honest with God about why we want what we want. The role of confession is vital at this point. Daily confession is not for the purpose of rehashing our sins. Its purpose is to provide a setting for an honest look at what motivates our actions. We then take responsibility for our sinful motives and actions. God responds by forgiving our sin for the sake of Christ’s payment for our sin on the cross. Not only does he forgive us but also he goes on to purify the motives of our hearts (1 John 1:8-9). All this the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to prepare us to bring our requests to God.
When Jesus visited Martha’s house, she had an issue with Mary and her failure to help her in the kitchen. But it was Jesus who caught the brunt of her anger. Martha had failed to establish healthy boundaries. Her preparations took her to the point of exhaustion and total frustration rather than to service. Her worrying and stewing over Mary’s failure to help and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern led her to be very rude to her house guest. Her outburst brought a reprimand from Jesus.
The fruit of patience brought a different Martha to Jesus this time. Instead of anger and frustration demanding that Jesus take action, Martha patiently presented her need concerning her brother. Once our motives have been clarified and purified through confession and forgiveness, we too will find that our emotions do not have as much power to force us beyond healthy boundaries whether in our relationship to God or to others. Patience helps us to seek not merely what is right from our perspective but to receive from God what is righteous in his eyes. Patience helps us recognize when we are pushing ourselves too far. Patience shifts our focus from self and self-pity to Christ and his love for us.
In this brief exchange between Jesus and Martha, we can sense that Martha genuinely accepts Jesus’ words of comfort. Pride is always suspicious of the motives of others. It always reads into others’ words of comfort and affection its own selfishness and ambition. It ultimately robs us of the very thing we desperately seek, which is the love and affection of others.
Patience given by the Holy Spirit produces much different fruit. It recognizes that not everyone will express affection the way we might. It is willing to give others the benefit of the doubt when they do not respond to our acts of affection the way we think they should. It rejoices in the moments of intimacy we are given with friends and loved ones. It enables us to let go of times when we are unappreciated. Patience always reminds us that our worth is in the one who died for us and rose again to give us eternal life. His first motive in dealing with us is always love.
Friday, June 12, 2009
PATIENCE 1
Most Christians are familiar with Jesus’ visit to Mary and Martha in Luke 10. Many are not aware of another visit to these same women (John 11:20-28). This visit was under very different circumstances. This visit was occasioned by the death of their brother Lazarus. Here we meet Martha again but this time a very different Martha. On this visit she models the very essence of the fruit of the Spirit called patience.
The story begins with Lazarus dying. An urgent message is sent to Jesus to come and heal his friend. Strangely he waited two more days before going to his friends. By the time he arrives, Lazarus has been in his tomb for four days. It is too late. Yet the sisters waited for Jesus. When he arrives, Martha is the one who goes out to meet him. This is where we see the Spirit shine in Martha’s life.
John tells us, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him.” What a different picture we see of Martha from Luke 10. Here she goes out to meet Jesus, not clean the house, serve a meal, or fuss over all the preparations. She goes to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary had done earlier. She goes to engage him about her brother’s death. She goes to see him and he alone is the focus of her attention.
Patience is often portrayed as sitting and waiting. Patience is much more active than that. When we are engaged by circumstances that challenge our patience, the first step is not to simply sit and wait. The first step is to bring our hurt and concern to Jesus. He is the one to give our problems proper perspective. He is the one who can solve them. He is the one to whom we need to give our undivided attention. Patience begins by study of the Word and struggling with that Word in prayer and reflection. There the Spirit draws us. There is where Jesus meets us.
The story begins with Lazarus dying. An urgent message is sent to Jesus to come and heal his friend. Strangely he waited two more days before going to his friends. By the time he arrives, Lazarus has been in his tomb for four days. It is too late. Yet the sisters waited for Jesus. When he arrives, Martha is the one who goes out to meet him. This is where we see the Spirit shine in Martha’s life.
John tells us, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him.” What a different picture we see of Martha from Luke 10. Here she goes out to meet Jesus, not clean the house, serve a meal, or fuss over all the preparations. She goes to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary had done earlier. She goes to engage him about her brother’s death. She goes to see him and he alone is the focus of her attention.
Patience is often portrayed as sitting and waiting. Patience is much more active than that. When we are engaged by circumstances that challenge our patience, the first step is not to simply sit and wait. The first step is to bring our hurt and concern to Jesus. He is the one to give our problems proper perspective. He is the one who can solve them. He is the one to whom we need to give our undivided attention. Patience begins by study of the Word and struggling with that Word in prayer and reflection. There the Spirit draws us. There is where Jesus meets us.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
CONFESSION AND FORGIVENESS FOR PRIDE
If you have felt convicted by any of the questions below concerning the sin of pride, what will you do? John has some wise advice for all of us. He says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Let us examine those words more closely.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. Nobody likes to be criticized. Nobody likes to be used. Who likes being cheated out of what is rightfully theirs? My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Ouch! Some of the questions you concerning pride likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our prideful habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our pride. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin of pride. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that pride has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the pride that poisons our hearts, lashes out at God, and consumes us with self-pity. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my pride and self-pity in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my prideful thoughts and deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my pride. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. “Because of what I did through Jesus, you find me compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me” (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of pride. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you have affected)
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness
Using these steps can go a long way in promoting healing and reconciliation.
[1] For more information contact Ambassadors of Reconciliation at PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108, (406)256-1583, or visit their website at www.HisPeace.org.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. Nobody likes to be criticized. Nobody likes to be used. Who likes being cheated out of what is rightfully theirs? My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Ouch! Some of the questions you concerning pride likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our prideful habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our pride. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin of pride. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that pride has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the pride that poisons our hearts, lashes out at God, and consumes us with self-pity. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my pride and self-pity in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my prideful thoughts and deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my pride. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. “Because of what I did through Jesus, you find me compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me” (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of pride. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you have affected)
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness
Using these steps can go a long way in promoting healing and reconciliation.
[1] For more information contact Ambassadors of Reconciliation at PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108, (406)256-1583, or visit their website at www.HisPeace.org.
PRIDE 8
Here are some questions for you to see how pride may be at work in your life based on Martha's story in Luke 10:38-42.
How true is it of you that you must give in order to get (v. 38)?
How often do you feel a sense of entitlement because of all that you have done for others (v. 39)?
How frequently do you feel you must put the needs of others ahead of your own (v. 40a)?
How hard is it for you to acknowledge your own hurt and ask for help (v. 40b)?
How true is it of you that you have to earn the affection of others because love is not simply given?
How do you react to the criticism of others (v. 41)?
How do you react when someone is selected for a position you expected to fill or promoted in your place (v. 42)?
How do you react when another’s gifts seem greater than your own?
How hard is it for you when others don’t seem to notice or care when you’ve done something good for them? How hard is it for you to take credit when you’ve done something good for others?
How do you feel when others identify with your weaknesses or problems by relating them to their own?
Monday, June 8, 2009
PRIDE 7
One direction Martha could have taken with Jesus’ words would have been to tell herself that she really was less that Mary. It would not matter how hard she tried, she would never please Jesus. Pride is a cruel master. It takes away all sense of worth and dignity.
Jesus, however, was trying to tell Martha that she really was valuable. She was just going about finding it in the wrong way. Jesus wanted her to examine what it was that he found valuable in Mary. He wanted her to think about that “one thing”. Would it be something that she could emulate? Her attitude toward service would change. Being the servant she was, she could even go so far as to use her obvious gifts and talents to serve Mary, which would help Mary grow in that “one thing.”
Pride puts us on the horns of a dilemma. Martha hated it when Jesus didn’t notice all the trouble she was going to. But if Martha were like her modern daughters, the fuss made over her for all she was doing would have embarrassed her. Pride and false humility are the mirror image of each other. Both are sin.
Learning to graciously receive compliments at face value and not manipulating or pressing others into giving complements are important virtues. The change begins in accepting the fact that God loves you now without one change in your life and knowing that his unconditional love in Jesus Christ will change you forever. Living the tension between those truths opens the door to some real healing.
When pride is in full bloom, no one understands, no one can relate, and no one can fully appreciate my problems. It doesn’t even want anyone to understand. There is a cold comfort in that being alone. Jesus will not leave us there. Of him it is said, “Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows” (Isaiah 53:4) and “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). It is amazing how when I think I have gone through it all, I find that Jesus went through it before me and usually under worse circumstances.
Jesus knows our weaknesses and problems even better than we do. We can trust him to relate to us. One of the ways he does that is through believers he places around us. It is amazing how often he ministers through his people. If Jesus can identify with Martha, believe me he can identify with you and me. After all he is the “one thing needed.”
Jesus, however, was trying to tell Martha that she really was valuable. She was just going about finding it in the wrong way. Jesus wanted her to examine what it was that he found valuable in Mary. He wanted her to think about that “one thing”. Would it be something that she could emulate? Her attitude toward service would change. Being the servant she was, she could even go so far as to use her obvious gifts and talents to serve Mary, which would help Mary grow in that “one thing.”
Pride puts us on the horns of a dilemma. Martha hated it when Jesus didn’t notice all the trouble she was going to. But if Martha were like her modern daughters, the fuss made over her for all she was doing would have embarrassed her. Pride and false humility are the mirror image of each other. Both are sin.
Learning to graciously receive compliments at face value and not manipulating or pressing others into giving complements are important virtues. The change begins in accepting the fact that God loves you now without one change in your life and knowing that his unconditional love in Jesus Christ will change you forever. Living the tension between those truths opens the door to some real healing.
When pride is in full bloom, no one understands, no one can relate, and no one can fully appreciate my problems. It doesn’t even want anyone to understand. There is a cold comfort in that being alone. Jesus will not leave us there. Of him it is said, “Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows” (Isaiah 53:4) and “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). It is amazing how when I think I have gone through it all, I find that Jesus went through it before me and usually under worse circumstances.
Jesus knows our weaknesses and problems even better than we do. We can trust him to relate to us. One of the ways he does that is through believers he places around us. It is amazing how often he ministers through his people. If Jesus can identify with Martha, believe me he can identify with you and me. After all he is the “one thing needed.”
Friday, June 5, 2009
PRIDE 6
Martha so wanted to make a good impression on Jesus. She gave it her very best. She was doing all the right things, at least from her perspective. What was wrong with Mary and Jesus? Couldn’t they see? Didn’t they understand?
Martha’s problem was trying to earn Jesus’ affection. Pride argued that love is never simply given. It must be earned. In Martha’s mind love had rules of give and give back. Jesus was not following the rules. She was giving, showing her affection as best she knew how. Now he was supposed to give back by telling her how special all her preparations were and thus how special she was. It was so frustrating.
Look at Jesus’ response to Martha’s harsh words. “Martha, Martha,” he said. The tone was not harsh or condescending. His intent was to communicate his genuine care and concern for her. What a shock that must have been to Martha! Martha had just blown it. She had been rude to her guest and he responded with kindness. Jesus was saying that he valued her more than he valued her cooking. We are worthwhile because Jesus says we are—not because of anything we have done or failed to do.
Jesus nailed it, “you are worried and upset about many things.” We are not told how Martha responded to Jesus’ words. We are left to answer that on our own. Perhaps she denied it and became defensive. Maybe she really nailed him for being insensitive to her feelings. A guilt trip would have fit in nicely about then. She may have just smiled and sucked it in once more and left feeling sorry for herself once again. Pride does not handle criticism well. It becomes defensive, resentful, bitter, and sulky.
“Mary has chosen what is better.” Ouch! Martha was trying so hard to be the favored one. It was her home. It was her preparations. It was going to be her dinner. Now all he can talk about is Mary!
It hurts when someone else gets what we have worked so hard for. Pride gets wounded. How easy it would have been for Martha to attempt to punish Mary or even try to get even with Jesus for what he said. How natural it would have been to slip into self-pity and resentment. It takes courage and patience to handle situations like this.
Martha’s problem was trying to earn Jesus’ affection. Pride argued that love is never simply given. It must be earned. In Martha’s mind love had rules of give and give back. Jesus was not following the rules. She was giving, showing her affection as best she knew how. Now he was supposed to give back by telling her how special all her preparations were and thus how special she was. It was so frustrating.
Look at Jesus’ response to Martha’s harsh words. “Martha, Martha,” he said. The tone was not harsh or condescending. His intent was to communicate his genuine care and concern for her. What a shock that must have been to Martha! Martha had just blown it. She had been rude to her guest and he responded with kindness. Jesus was saying that he valued her more than he valued her cooking. We are worthwhile because Jesus says we are—not because of anything we have done or failed to do.
Jesus nailed it, “you are worried and upset about many things.” We are not told how Martha responded to Jesus’ words. We are left to answer that on our own. Perhaps she denied it and became defensive. Maybe she really nailed him for being insensitive to her feelings. A guilt trip would have fit in nicely about then. She may have just smiled and sucked it in once more and left feeling sorry for herself once again. Pride does not handle criticism well. It becomes defensive, resentful, bitter, and sulky.
“Mary has chosen what is better.” Ouch! Martha was trying so hard to be the favored one. It was her home. It was her preparations. It was going to be her dinner. Now all he can talk about is Mary!
It hurts when someone else gets what we have worked so hard for. Pride gets wounded. How easy it would have been for Martha to attempt to punish Mary or even try to get even with Jesus for what he said. How natural it would have been to slip into self-pity and resentment. It takes courage and patience to handle situations like this.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
PRIDE 5
So goes life for the Marthas of this world. “Martha” decides to host a party. She opens her home. She wants to impress others with how well she can cook. She wants to be known as a good hostess. When her guests arrive, she is psyched. However, something happens during the evening. No one is helping serve the food. Suddenly a remark is made by a guest and taken the wrong way. She is sure a couple of her guests do not like her cooking. No one notices the special decorations. Suddenly, she is exhausted and angry. All the work that seemed to excite her now turns into a burden. Her guests become a bore. She becomes annoyed and filled with self-pity. Humility and service energize. Pride and self-pity demoralize.
Martha did something that even surprised Martha. She suddenly came charging out of the kitchen and in an angry voice said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” After Jesus arrived, Martha stood back in the kitchen listening to Mary and Jesus talk, at first thinking that surely Mary would realize all that she was doing and come back with an offer to help. When she didn’t come, she consoled herself by knowing that at least one person in that house cared. When she realized that she wasn’t going to get everything prepared and that Mary wasn’t coming to help, she lost it. Martha violated a very important rule of hospitality—drawing a guest into a family dispute. By this time she felt Jesus had it coming. After all, he didn’t care either since he didn’t send Mary back to help.
Few of us take it well when we fail to receive what we are entitled to. Martha was tempted to put on a humble smile, assure others and herself that she could handle it, and sucked it up and moved on. Then later, out of nowhere, out came her “Wicked Witch of the West” routine. That is pride in action.
Pride is aware of hurt but it does not properly acknowledge it. Instead it says to you how strong and forbearing you are. It draws strength from the self-pity that forms in the pit of the stomach. It gathers the hurts endured and begins to blend them into a witch’s brew of bitterness and resentment. This brew is very volatile. Eventually even pride can no longer digest it. There is finally an explosion of anger or a retreat into helplessness and martyrdom, and you become nothing more than your role as victim.
Asking for help is the way to break the spiral down into self-pity. Martha waited too long to ask for help. By the time she asked, her request was poisoned with accusation (“don’t you care”), blaming (“my sister has left me to do the work by myself”), and hostility (“Tell her to help me!”). How different the scene might have been if Martha had approached Mary earlier and asked for help. If she could have stated her need in the first person “I”, instead accusing and blaming, and listened to Mary, she may have discovered what Mary was doing and put aside the kitchen work and sat down with Mary. But that takes patience, which we will examine in the next section.
Martha did something that even surprised Martha. She suddenly came charging out of the kitchen and in an angry voice said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” After Jesus arrived, Martha stood back in the kitchen listening to Mary and Jesus talk, at first thinking that surely Mary would realize all that she was doing and come back with an offer to help. When she didn’t come, she consoled herself by knowing that at least one person in that house cared. When she realized that she wasn’t going to get everything prepared and that Mary wasn’t coming to help, she lost it. Martha violated a very important rule of hospitality—drawing a guest into a family dispute. By this time she felt Jesus had it coming. After all, he didn’t care either since he didn’t send Mary back to help.
Few of us take it well when we fail to receive what we are entitled to. Martha was tempted to put on a humble smile, assure others and herself that she could handle it, and sucked it up and moved on. Then later, out of nowhere, out came her “Wicked Witch of the West” routine. That is pride in action.
Pride is aware of hurt but it does not properly acknowledge it. Instead it says to you how strong and forbearing you are. It draws strength from the self-pity that forms in the pit of the stomach. It gathers the hurts endured and begins to blend them into a witch’s brew of bitterness and resentment. This brew is very volatile. Eventually even pride can no longer digest it. There is finally an explosion of anger or a retreat into helplessness and martyrdom, and you become nothing more than your role as victim.
Asking for help is the way to break the spiral down into self-pity. Martha waited too long to ask for help. By the time she asked, her request was poisoned with accusation (“don’t you care”), blaming (“my sister has left me to do the work by myself”), and hostility (“Tell her to help me!”). How different the scene might have been if Martha had approached Mary earlier and asked for help. If she could have stated her need in the first person “I”, instead accusing and blaming, and listened to Mary, she may have discovered what Mary was doing and put aside the kitchen work and sat down with Mary. But that takes patience, which we will examine in the next section.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
PRIDE 4
Luke states very simply that while Martha opened her home, Mary “sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” Can you imagine what went through Martha’s mind? It was Martha’s home and she was kind enough to let her sister live there. After all, that is what sisters do, right? How could Mary be so inconsiderate of her guest and her SISTER by ignoring all that remained to be done? But Martha said nothing. If the job was going to be done, she would have to do it.
If you are a parent, if you have ever been an employer or supervisor, or if you have ever had responsibility for another human being, you know the pain Martha felt at that moment. You make decisions and take actions that you feel are in the best interest of all. Do you get cooperation? Are you thanked? Do you gain understanding? Too often those in your care are clueless. It hurts. They owe you better than that.
Pride’s trick is to take a need or a hurt and turn it into self-pity. It stores away the slight for a later time when it can be used as a club against the thankless person. It justifies the use of that club by reminding how hard you worked and how much you sacrificed. After all, you deserve better! Pride knows entitlement but nothing of grace and forgiveness.
Paul writes to the Philippians, “in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). Martha seems the epitome of this verse. She didn’t say anything to Mary about not helping. She was doing her best to provide Jesus with a good meal. She was simply doing the humble, Christian thing by putting others needs ahead of her own. Luke tells us something unpleasant happened in the process. She became “distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” Pride pulled a switch. What started as an effort to serve others became an effort to serve food. So much had to be done that the reason for doing it got lost.
If you are a parent, if you have ever been an employer or supervisor, or if you have ever had responsibility for another human being, you know the pain Martha felt at that moment. You make decisions and take actions that you feel are in the best interest of all. Do you get cooperation? Are you thanked? Do you gain understanding? Too often those in your care are clueless. It hurts. They owe you better than that.
Pride’s trick is to take a need or a hurt and turn it into self-pity. It stores away the slight for a later time when it can be used as a club against the thankless person. It justifies the use of that club by reminding how hard you worked and how much you sacrificed. After all, you deserve better! Pride knows entitlement but nothing of grace and forgiveness.
Paul writes to the Philippians, “in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). Martha seems the epitome of this verse. She didn’t say anything to Mary about not helping. She was doing her best to provide Jesus with a good meal. She was simply doing the humble, Christian thing by putting others needs ahead of her own. Luke tells us something unpleasant happened in the process. She became “distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” Pride pulled a switch. What started as an effort to serve others became an effort to serve food. So much had to be done that the reason for doing it got lost.
PRIDE 3
One of the tragic consequences of the sin of pride is its ability to take something good and twist it into a bargaining chip. The bargain was that Martha would open her home to Jesus and give him a wonderful meal. Jesus would complete the deal by saying how grateful he was, what a gracious host Martha had been, and leave with some words of wisdom, which would bless her home.
That does not sound like a bad trade. We often give in order to get. Pride argues that giving is the only way to get, and life’s disappointments seem at times to underscore that message. Pride cannot accept grace.
Grace is kindness given where it is not earned or deserved. Jesus came first to give and without pride. That is the story of his suffering and finally his death on the cross. He died for us to give us life by taking our sin on his shoulders. God raised him from the dead and now he gives this gift of life to all who will receive it. He didn’t do this to wrangle a thank you. There is nothing we can give back to him for this gift he has given. He believes his gift of grace will change our lives, that we will be grateful, and that we will become giving people because of his gift. This does not make his grace a give-to-get transaction because that would assume that somewhere down the line we could expect Jesus to call in our account so that we would repay him. Nothing could be farther from the truth. He gives simply believing his gift will do what it is intended to do, give us life. He believes the Holy Spirit then will produces new fruit from our lives in response to that gift. Later on we will examine how that works.
That does not sound like a bad trade. We often give in order to get. Pride argues that giving is the only way to get, and life’s disappointments seem at times to underscore that message. Pride cannot accept grace.
Grace is kindness given where it is not earned or deserved. Jesus came first to give and without pride. That is the story of his suffering and finally his death on the cross. He died for us to give us life by taking our sin on his shoulders. God raised him from the dead and now he gives this gift of life to all who will receive it. He didn’t do this to wrangle a thank you. There is nothing we can give back to him for this gift he has given. He believes his gift of grace will change our lives, that we will be grateful, and that we will become giving people because of his gift. This does not make his grace a give-to-get transaction because that would assume that somewhere down the line we could expect Jesus to call in our account so that we would repay him. Nothing could be farther from the truth. He gives simply believing his gift will do what it is intended to do, give us life. He believes the Holy Spirit then will produces new fruit from our lives in response to that gift. Later on we will examine how that works.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
PRIDE 2
Pride is insisting on waiting on Jesus instead of waiting for Jesus, which is the essence of patience. This was Martha’s sin. It was not time for Jesus to be waited on. He came to Martha’s home to give something to both her and Mary. He had come to teach them. Since they were women and Teachers (Rabbis) did not teach women, it was a very special gift he wanted to give. He wanted her to wait for that gift just as Mary was doing. Her pride got in her way.
I have found it true of Martha and many of her descendents that they are much better at giving than they are receiving. Pride has subtle ways of changing giving into controlling. Pride converts giving into a transaction. “I will care for you and in return you will at the very least be properly grateful.” Creating this sense of debt on the part of the recipient becomes a means of control. Guilt is used to manipulate the proper response to this wonderful gift of caring. Reality is that people don’t always act the way they are supposed to, especially in the area of gratitude. Worse still, most people don’t like to be manipulated or controlled by guilt.
For Martha I’m sure this was not a conscious effort to control Jesus, but the results were the same. She, like many others whose generosity is infected with pride, was in danger of having her sense of worth bruised. If asked, Martha would have denied trying to control Jesus, but that is exactly what she was doing. It hurt her when he refused to go along with her plan and then was ungrateful to boot. To understand how this sin of pride comes into the lives of giving people with wonderful servant hearts, let’s take a closer look at Martha’s encounter with Jesus.
Although Jesus was a friend of the family, his status as a teacher in Israel made his visit highly unusual to say the least. He had come to teach and rabbis did not teach women. What an honor it was for Martha to have such a guest in her home. The natural thing for Martha was to have her home in good order to receive her guest and have a good meal prepared.
The point is that what Martha did was a good thing, which obviously came from a heart full of generous hospitality. Pride starts with a good thing of which we have a right to be proud. However, it takes the good thing and bends it for selfish purposes. It was good for Martha to open her home. It was good that she was preparing a special meal. What Martha did not realize was that Jesus came to give first and then receive. His giving was most important to him. All her preparations got in the way of her understanding this. Her preparations became more important than the person she was serving.
I have found it true of Martha and many of her descendents that they are much better at giving than they are receiving. Pride has subtle ways of changing giving into controlling. Pride converts giving into a transaction. “I will care for you and in return you will at the very least be properly grateful.” Creating this sense of debt on the part of the recipient becomes a means of control. Guilt is used to manipulate the proper response to this wonderful gift of caring. Reality is that people don’t always act the way they are supposed to, especially in the area of gratitude. Worse still, most people don’t like to be manipulated or controlled by guilt.
For Martha I’m sure this was not a conscious effort to control Jesus, but the results were the same. She, like many others whose generosity is infected with pride, was in danger of having her sense of worth bruised. If asked, Martha would have denied trying to control Jesus, but that is exactly what she was doing. It hurt her when he refused to go along with her plan and then was ungrateful to boot. To understand how this sin of pride comes into the lives of giving people with wonderful servant hearts, let’s take a closer look at Martha’s encounter with Jesus.
Although Jesus was a friend of the family, his status as a teacher in Israel made his visit highly unusual to say the least. He had come to teach and rabbis did not teach women. What an honor it was for Martha to have such a guest in her home. The natural thing for Martha was to have her home in good order to receive her guest and have a good meal prepared.
The point is that what Martha did was a good thing, which obviously came from a heart full of generous hospitality. Pride starts with a good thing of which we have a right to be proud. However, it takes the good thing and bends it for selfish purposes. It was good for Martha to open her home. It was good that she was preparing a special meal. What Martha did not realize was that Jesus came to give first and then receive. His giving was most important to him. All her preparations got in the way of her understanding this. Her preparations became more important than the person she was serving.
Monday, March 2, 2009
PRIDE
The house was clean. The smell of baking bread and the fragrance of spices in a special dish she was preparing filled the air. There were only a few details remained. She was so excited! He had honored her and her sister by accepting a dinner invitation. He was not only their friend but also a respected Teacher. She would fix him the finest meal he had ever eaten!
Her problems began when she found that she had not been watching the time. Her guest arrived before all the preparations were finished. That would not be a problem since her sister could help her. Little did she know that from that point on, everything would go wrong.
Instead of helping her, her sister parked herself at her guest’s feet hanging on every word of the Rabbi. How could she be so lazy when there was so much work to be done? Worse yet, the Teacher seemed to be encouraging her. Neither seemed to care about all she was doing for this special meal.
What happened next even surprised her. She was so angry. Before she knew it, she flew out of the kitchen and began scolding her guest for not telling her sister to help her. Where were her manners? Instead of extending all the proper courtesies to her guest, she was dressing down the very guest she so hoped to impress. To make things worse, she was humiliated when her guest took up for her lazy sister.
As you might know, this is the story of the visit of Jesus to Martha’s home. The lazy sister, of course, is Mary (Luke 10:38-42). Over the years I have preached and taught many times on this visit of Jesus. It never fails that a “Martha” or two (sometimes six or seven) will rise to Martha’s defense. They are kindred souls with Martha. They have servant’s hearts and are wonderful, hardworking members of their churches. They make a powerful case in Martha’s defense for why she was in the kitchen and not sitting around like Mary. (Try operating a church sometime without them.) They will agree that Jesus had his reasons for saying what he said but will always believe he should have been kinder to Martha.
To any “Martha” who is reading this study, I feel an obligation to warn you that this next section may offend you. You see, I am going to address the sin of pride. Of all the things Martha may have been guilty of, any “Martha” I have known would rank this as the least of her sins and would be hurt by suggesting otherwise. After all, Martha is such a giving, caring person. I will take the risk of suggesting pride as Martha’s sin with the understanding that she is also an excellent model of the fruit of the Spirit, patience, as I will demonstrate later.
Her problems began when she found that she had not been watching the time. Her guest arrived before all the preparations were finished. That would not be a problem since her sister could help her. Little did she know that from that point on, everything would go wrong.
Instead of helping her, her sister parked herself at her guest’s feet hanging on every word of the Rabbi. How could she be so lazy when there was so much work to be done? Worse yet, the Teacher seemed to be encouraging her. Neither seemed to care about all she was doing for this special meal.
What happened next even surprised her. She was so angry. Before she knew it, she flew out of the kitchen and began scolding her guest for not telling her sister to help her. Where were her manners? Instead of extending all the proper courtesies to her guest, she was dressing down the very guest she so hoped to impress. To make things worse, she was humiliated when her guest took up for her lazy sister.
As you might know, this is the story of the visit of Jesus to Martha’s home. The lazy sister, of course, is Mary (Luke 10:38-42). Over the years I have preached and taught many times on this visit of Jesus. It never fails that a “Martha” or two (sometimes six or seven) will rise to Martha’s defense. They are kindred souls with Martha. They have servant’s hearts and are wonderful, hardworking members of their churches. They make a powerful case in Martha’s defense for why she was in the kitchen and not sitting around like Mary. (Try operating a church sometime without them.) They will agree that Jesus had his reasons for saying what he said but will always believe he should have been kinder to Martha.
To any “Martha” who is reading this study, I feel an obligation to warn you that this next section may offend you. You see, I am going to address the sin of pride. Of all the things Martha may have been guilty of, any “Martha” I have known would rank this as the least of her sins and would be hurt by suggesting otherwise. After all, Martha is such a giving, caring person. I will take the risk of suggesting pride as Martha’s sin with the understanding that she is also an excellent model of the fruit of the Spirit, patience, as I will demonstrate later.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
joy summary
Let’s review what the fruit of the Holy Spirit called joy does in our lives.
1. It teaches the practice of gentleness
2. It shows how to give up our rights
3. It keeps anger from festering
4. It draws us into the Lord’s presence
5. It produces honesty in confessing our sins
6. It releases forgiveness
7. It draws us into Christian community
8. It releases thanksgiving
9. It frees us from worry
10. It teaches us how to properly grieve our losses
11. It enables living in the moment
12. It brings the peace of God
13. It keeps us from indulging poor learned habits
14. It keeps close watch on our hot buttons
15. It changes angry behavior
16. It practices things that are excellent and praiseworthy
17. It learns from the example of others
Saturday, February 28, 2009
joy 5
What does joyful behavior look like? Paul goes on to explain (Phil 4:8), “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Shifting our thinking process from anger and all its companions to these things that are excellent and praiseworthy gives a new perspective on life and sees the abundance of this fruit called joy.
Paul sees joy as more than a way of thinking for he goes on to say (Phil 4:9), “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” This goes back to what was said earlier about choosing friends and associates. It is good for us to think about the things Paul listed above, but it is powerful when we connect ourselves with others who think the same way. This moves the ideas and concepts we have of joy into everyday living. Paul modeled the joyful life for the Philippians. It is important to find examples who will model the joyful life, learn from them, receive from them, hear from them, see in them the truth described earlier, and then put it into practice.
The process begins by accepting that truth is not what our anger and self-pity seek to define it. Instead truth aspires to qualities such as nobility as illustrated by our earlier discussion of gentleness. Truth not merely seeks what is right but what is righteous. God had the right to destroy us because of our sin. He chose to do what was righteous and sacrificed his only Son for our sin so that we could be made right with him through faith. Truth delights in forgiveness because it is through forgiveness that purity is possible. Truth does not confuse love and lust thus seeing creation through new eyes. Finally, truth seeks not the admiration of the world but the approval of God. These things are excellent and praiseworthy. These are the things to which we are to shift our thoughts when anger would drive out joy.
Paul sees joy as more than a way of thinking for he goes on to say (Phil 4:9), “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” This goes back to what was said earlier about choosing friends and associates. It is good for us to think about the things Paul listed above, but it is powerful when we connect ourselves with others who think the same way. This moves the ideas and concepts we have of joy into everyday living. Paul modeled the joyful life for the Philippians. It is important to find examples who will model the joyful life, learn from them, receive from them, hear from them, see in them the truth described earlier, and then put it into practice.Finally, joy produces contentment. Paul says in verse twelve, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” Paul’s secret is well expressed in the Serenity Prayer of A.A.
God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
What a wonderful prayer for those who struggle with anger and seek to practice joy.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
joy 4
Before we go any further, let’s go back to Philippians four verse four, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” It is helpful to think of joy as a process word. This is the essence of what Paul is saying about joy. Joy is not a destination on the journey of life. It is a companion. Joy is an attitude that must be practiced daily. In my own life it is often moment-to-moment. For me joy is the most fragile of fruit. I dare not take it for granted for one moment or it suddenly is gone. If you struggle with anger, the practice of gentleness, the Lord’s presence, and thanksgiving will often be a moment-to-moment exercise. The good news is that joy is fruit of the Holy Spirit. His desire is to produce that joy in us. He will never abandon us in our desire to discover more of the power of this precious fruit. What flows from this precious fruit is the peace of God. In verse seven, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Notice Paul does not say “might.” He says, “will guard your hearts and your minds.” What is it about this peace that is so powerful? Peace is not the absence of war or conflict. In the Scriptures peace is the wholeness and presence of God. Peace is not a feeling. It is the action of God bringing wholeness and his presence into the believer’s life. Peace is important because its purpose is to stand as a guard or sentry over the heart, which is the “wellspring of life” (Prov 4:23). This action of God causes action in us regarding how we deal with our anger.
We practice the peace of God when we don’t indulge poor learned habits. If anger is a problem in our lives, it means that we have picked up some bad habits through our life. Often these habits have been learned from our family and reinforced by our friends. When God forgives our sins, he sets us on a new path of living which means leaving behind old habits so that new ones can replace them. What is often overlooked in this process is that it begins by looking for new friends and associates (Prov 22:24-25). If those around us practice the same poor habits we are trying to get rid of, we will always be pulled back into those old habits. If we hang around angry people, we will be angry.
Secondly, understand what pushes your hot buttons. Taking time for this self-examination can pay rich dividends. You can learn what situations to avoid. You can practice new behaviors in response to the things that make you angry. You can turn these hot buttons over to the Lord through confession. You can talk about these issues with a friend who will be honest with you or, if necessary, a therapist or counselor. By these actions you gain wisdom which allows you to “overlook an offense” rather than getting angry (Prov 19:11).
Finally, change angry behavior (Col 3:8). Anger that is improperly handled eventually exacts a price (Prov 19:19). Depressions, lost jobs, family hurt, self-medicating, and broken relationships are but a few of the consequences of angry behavior. Anger creates habits and coping skills that hurt self and others. Choosing to act differently than what anger dictates is a way to change your feelings of anger. For those who struggle with anger, it is unlikely that personal discipline, even under the Spirit’s guidance, will be enough to change. Placing yourself in an accountability relationship with friends who can encourage you is important. These friends can model good behavior, show you when you are behaving poorly, and provide a safety net of encouragement and prayer.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
joy 3
Paul continues (Phil 4:6), “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” The opposite of anger is not the absence of anger. The opposite of anger is being full of joy. So too the opposite of worry is not the absence of worry, but being filled with thanksgiving. Worry and anger are close cousins. They feed and care for one another. If we don’t deal with the worry, we won’t be successful in dealing with our anger. Thus Paul’s counsel here becomes important. When one is worried, it is very hard to be thankful. The reason is simple. Worry is idolatry (Matt 6:24-25). Worry says of God that he is unable to control the uncertainties of life. Worry argues that God is not doing enough to handle the situation. Worry’s consolation is that at least it is doing something. It is worrying. That is more than what God is doing at that moment. Thus the door is opened for anger to come in and create resentment toward God.
This is why Paul first affirmed the presence of the Lord. The presence of the Lord creates the perfect climate for praise and thanksgiving. The spirit of the believer in response to the Holy Spirit naturally wants to thank and praise God. It is this aid of the Holy Spirit that frees us to practice thanksgiving. Thanksgiving drives out the worry and its cousin anger.
At this point it is well to say something about grief and the process of thanksgiving. One huge reason for worry and anger being so hard to drive out is that we often fail to properly grieve our losses. We live in a culture that is always in a hurry and wants quick, simple solutions to life’s problems. Unfortunately, most of life’s problems are not so easily fixed. With the rapid pace of life we easily become a repository for unresolved losses. We bound from financial setbacks to relationship failures to health crisis to family problems without ever having time to process the things we have lost at each point on the way. It becomes easy to be fearful of what may happen next and thus give worry a foothold. It is easy to build defenses against the hurt that is felt, which can produce a great deal of anger. There is no energy left to be thankful.
Part of the process of thanksgiving ironically is mourning. When we mourn, we stop to acknowledge our loss. That is why we have funerals. When we mourn, we take time to feel our pain at the loss. When we mourn, we look for a source of comfort. As Christians, we look for that source in a loving God who shared our loss at the cross of his Son and overcame our loss when he raised Jesus from the dead. It is this Jesus who is with us to mourn our loss and is able to give genuine comfort (Matt 5:4). It is in that comfort that we find a new beginning, which produces thanksgiving that flows from the heart. With every loss and failure comes the comfort and hope of a new beginning. With every death comes the hope of resurrection. This is what gives thanksgiving its resilience.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
joy 2
In Philippians 4:5 Paul continues, “The Lord is near.” Here he invites us to practice the Lord’s presence. When we are angry, the Lord does not appear to be very near. The Holy Spirit invites us to consciously note the Lord’s presence even when we are angry so that our anger can be turned into joy. He does that by inviting us to make honest confession of our sins (1 John 1:8-9). That is the first step in getting “rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Eph 4:32) In confession we take ownership for where we have allowed anger to control our lives. When we do this honestly with God, his promise is that he forgives our sins and makes us clean.It is this cleanness that establishes our worth. The reason criticism can get a hold in our lives is because there is usually some truth in it. Anger internalizes the criticism. Confession turns it over to the Lord. What is true about our wrong is confessed and then forgiven by God. What is not true is turned away because it does not belong to us as forgiven, cleansed children of God. It is the fruit of joy that Holy Spirit uses to give this perspective.
That cleanness enables us to be forgiving, even toward our critics (Eph 4:32). Letting go of the right to be anger is the first step in this process of forgiving. Then we lose the need to be angry. Then we are free to love the object of our anger. This is what the Lord did (Luke 23:34). This is what the Lord’s presence enables us to do. It is marvelous that we can experience the Lord’s presence when we read the promises of Scripture (Ps 119:28, 50; Rom 1:16), when we share those promises in conversation with other Christians (James 5:16a; Matt 18:20), and especially when we receive the body and blood of our Lord in the bread and wine of Holy Communion (Matt 26:26-28).
The result of the Lord’s presence is healing for the Christian community. The Lord’s presence draws us together as the people of God. The barriers that divide us are broken down by his presence. We see the Lord’s presence in the faces of other believers. With the joy provided by the Holy Spirit, we gladly use our gifts for the common good (1 Cor 12:7) and grow together in Christ (Eph 4:15-16). Being present in this Christian community provides a wonderful antidote for bitterness and anger. In this community we find support, encouragement, and accountability in our battle with the sin of anger.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Joy replaces Anger
The problem with harboring anger is that one is left with a lot of bitterness, self-pity, and a lousy attitude. When God forgives our sins of anger, the Holy Spirit replaces the anger with something new and refreshing. We receive the fruit of the Spirit known as joy. Turning to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, especially the fourth chapter, we see how amazing that joy really is.
Paul wrote this letter from prison. He was not a free man when he wrote, yet he wrote as the freest of men. His counsel from prison was to rejoice. When we sit in our own prison of self-pity and anger, what wonderful counsel it is to bring us freedom.
Paul understood that joy was not something we manufacture inside ourselves. It is fruit that the Holy Spirit bears in our lives. He does that by empowering certain practices in our lives. Let’s look at what they are.
Paul says in verse five that you practice joy when you “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” To make this happen the Holy Spirit has to do two things. First, he takes from us our legal rights. That is total opposite of what anger demands. To be gentle is to give up any claim we h
ave to restitution for what wrongs have been done us. This gentleness is illustrated in God through Jesus Christ. God did not treat us according to what justice demanded concerning our disobedience to him. Jesus instead took our punishment on the cross. Because of what Jesus did for us, God can now be gentle with us by being kind, patient, and generous toward us.
Anger is quick to demand justice and, if left to fester, revenge. The Holy Spirit frees us to turn the issue of justice over to God and empowers us to love our enemies (Matt 5:43-48). This love may never equate to liking an enemy, but it will show itself in gentle ways we deal with our enemy. This gentle choice is available to us by the working of the Holy Spirit.
Second, the Holy Spirit points to the sun. In Ephesians 4:26 he says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” He does not expect us to simply drop our anger or ignore it. He does not expect us to solve every problem before sundown. He enables us to process the anger. This happens when we turn our need for justice and revenge over to the Lord. This happens when we reflect on the love and forgiveness that is freely ours in Jesus. This happens when we make the choice to be gentle rather than vengeful. It is then that we are able to listen rather than speak and slow down the process of anger by not allowing it to fester in our lives (James 1:19-20).
Paul wrote this letter from prison. He was not a free man when he wrote, yet he wrote as the freest of men. His counsel from prison was to rejoice. When we sit in our own prison of self-pity and anger, what wonderful counsel it is to bring us freedom.
Paul understood that joy was not something we manufacture inside ourselves. It is fruit that the Holy Spirit bears in our lives. He does that by empowering certain practices in our lives. Let’s look at what they are.
Paul says in verse five that you practice joy when you “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” To make this happen the Holy Spirit has to do two things. First, he takes from us our legal rights. That is total opposite of what anger demands. To be gentle is to give up any claim we h
ave to restitution for what wrongs have been done us. This gentleness is illustrated in God through Jesus Christ. God did not treat us according to what justice demanded concerning our disobedience to him. Jesus instead took our punishment on the cross. Because of what Jesus did for us, God can now be gentle with us by being kind, patient, and generous toward us.Anger is quick to demand justice and, if left to fester, revenge. The Holy Spirit frees us to turn the issue of justice over to God and empowers us to love our enemies (Matt 5:43-48). This love may never equate to liking an enemy, but it will show itself in gentle ways we deal with our enemy. This gentle choice is available to us by the working of the Holy Spirit.
Second, the Holy Spirit points to the sun. In Ephesians 4:26 he says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” He does not expect us to simply drop our anger or ignore it. He does not expect us to solve every problem before sundown. He enables us to process the anger. This happens when we turn our need for justice and revenge over to the Lord. This happens when we reflect on the love and forgiveness that is freely ours in Jesus. This happens when we make the choice to be gentle rather than vengeful. It is then that we are able to listen rather than speak and slow down the process of anger by not allowing it to fester in our lives (James 1:19-20).
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Anger--Confession and Forgiveness
If you have felt convicted by any of the questions in Anger 8, what will you do? John has some wise advice for all of us. He says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Next we will examine those words more closely.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in.” Ouch! Some of the questions you answered earlier likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our angry habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our sin. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that sin has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the anger that broods in our hearts and lashes out at God and others. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my anger in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my angry deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my anger. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. I am compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of anger. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in.” Ouch! Some of the questions you answered earlier likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our angry habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our sin. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that sin has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the anger that broods in our hearts and lashes out at God and others. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my anger in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my angry deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my anger. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. I am compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of anger. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
Address everyone involved (All those whom you have affected)
Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
Ask for forgiveness
Using these steps can go a long way in promoting healing and reconciliation.
[1] For more information contact Ambassadors of Reconciliation at PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108, (406)256-1583, or visit their website at www.HisPeace.org.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
ANGER! 8
At this point I would ask you to consider the following ten questions whose purpose is to help you see the influence of anger in your life. Answer them as honestly as you can. After you have identified some places in your life where anger has a hook, then I will show you some ways to bring God forgiveness and power to bear on those points.
Do others frequently annoy you?
Do you often speak of changes others need to make?
Do you know how to laugh at yourself?
Do you commonly feel that you are the only responsible person in your family, class, or at work?
Do you frequently expect more of yourself and others than even God does?
Do you often feel that you must suppress or justify your anger?
Do you ask others not to take your criticism personally and yet have difficulty not taking criticism personally yourself?
Do you often feel that the confidence others have in you is misplaced?
Do you frequently find that in your frustration you act out (e.g. excessive eating or drinking, outbursts of rage, obsessive-compulsive behavior, extreme remorse, or become extremely rigid in your opinions)?
Do you live with a judge inside your head that is sometimes wise and discerning but often is simply stern and harsh?
If you have felt convicted by any of the questions above, what will you do? John has some wise advise for all of us. He says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Next we will examine those words more closely.
Do others frequently annoy you?
Do you often speak of changes others need to make?
Do you know how to laugh at yourself?
Do you commonly feel that you are the only responsible person in your family, class, or at work?
Do you frequently expect more of yourself and others than even God does?
Do you often feel that you must suppress or justify your anger?
Do you ask others not to take your criticism personally and yet have difficulty not taking criticism personally yourself?
Do you often feel that the confidence others have in you is misplaced?
Do you frequently find that in your frustration you act out (e.g. excessive eating or drinking, outbursts of rage, obsessive-compulsive behavior, extreme remorse, or become extremely rigid in your opinions)?
Do you live with a judge inside your head that is sometimes wise and discerning but often is simply stern and harsh?
If you have felt convicted by any of the questions above, what will you do? John has some wise advise for all of us. He says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Next we will examine those words more closely.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
ANGER! 7
Finally, angry people live with a judge inside their heads that is sometimes wise and discerning but often is simply stern and harsh. This wise, discerning judge gave Moses a profound sense of right and wrong and a zealous desire to pursue God’s justice (Ex 18:13-16; Ex 32:19-20). In this way it served him well. It was when this judge became the only voice he listened to that it got him into trouble. When this judge is allowed to speak alone, he becomes very stern. His voice can lead either to self-righteous condemnation or self-pity and complaining. Unchecked, this voice ultimately leads to an unholy alliance with the voice of Satan, whose name means “accuser.” This voice must be balanced with mercy and compassion or it becomes deadly. This voice must always be put in submission to the voice of God revealed in Scripture.
This harsh, angry judge spoke to Moses about Moses. When he considered God’s call to lead Israel out of Egypt, the judge reminded him that he was in no way worthy for such a high calling. As a result Moses made excuse after excuse to God until God finally became angry with him (Ex 3 and 4). This voice told him that no one could administer justice to Israel like he could. He nearly wore himself out because of it (Ex 18:17-26).
This harsh, angry judge spoke to Moses about others. This judge was speaking when Moses killed the Egyptian (Ex 2:11-15) and when he struck the rock (Num 20:2-12). In these examples Moses took the law into his own hands. In both instances his choice to listen to the angry judge cost him dearly.
This harsh, angry judge spoke to Moses about Moses. When he considered God’s call to lead Israel out of Egypt, the judge reminded him that he was in no way worthy for such a high calling. As a result Moses made excuse after excuse to God until God finally became angry with him (Ex 3 and 4). This voice told him that no one could administer justice to Israel like he could. He nearly wore himself out because of it (Ex 18:17-26).
This harsh, angry judge spoke to Moses about others. This judge was speaking when Moses killed the Egyptian (Ex 2:11-15) and when he struck the rock (Num 20:2-12). In these examples Moses took the law into his own hands. In both instances his choice to listen to the angry judge cost him dearly.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
ANGER! 6
Another major source of anger is one’s own insecurity. Five times Moses tried to tell God that he was unqualified to lead Israel out of Egypt (Ex 3:11, 14; 4:1, 10, 13). The Lord finally got angry with Moses (Ex 4:14) for rejecting all that he was trying to give Moses to equip him for his task. I can’t help but wonder whether, even though Moses did what the Lord commanded, he didn’t question right to the end if God had made a mistake.
That kind of questioning can provide a breeding ground for resentment against God. “After all”, the thinking goes, “God knew I’m not qualified and yet he pushed me into this position. It will only be a matter of time before I fail. God, why do you want me to be a failure?” Since none of us is perfect, each of us will make mistakes and will fail from time to time. Anger em
otionally sets us up to lash out at God for making us failures or at others so they dare not comment on our shortcomings. The result is emotional isolation God and others, and an inability to learn from mistakes as well as equating failing with being a failure. Even the most successful fail. The difference is that they learn from their mistakes and are willing to fail and learn again.
It took almost forty years for Moses to lose control and act out. Other leaders of Israel did not manage as well. King Saul, for instance, became frustrated with his own failings as king. Instead of listening to the counsel and support God gave him through the prophet Samuel, he allowed his anger to grow into bitterness and rage. He became jealous of David and in an outburst of rage even tried to kill his own son because of his support of David. The fits of rage were often followed by times of extreme remorse. Those times were short and Saul became more and more obsessed with killing David (1 Samuel 15-31). Moses and Saul stand in sharp contrast in how they dealt with their anger. Moses, until the end, turned his over to the Lord. Saul kept his anger, nursing it until it grew to be a spirit that tormented him (1 Samuel 16:14-23).
That kind of questioning can provide a breeding ground for resentment against God. “After all”, the thinking goes, “God knew I’m not qualified and yet he pushed me into this position. It will only be a matter of time before I fail. God, why do you want me to be a failure?” Since none of us is perfect, each of us will make mistakes and will fail from time to time. Anger em
otionally sets us up to lash out at God for making us failures or at others so they dare not comment on our shortcomings. The result is emotional isolation God and others, and an inability to learn from mistakes as well as equating failing with being a failure. Even the most successful fail. The difference is that they learn from their mistakes and are willing to fail and learn again.It took almost forty years for Moses to lose control and act out. Other leaders of Israel did not manage as well. King Saul, for instance, became frustrated with his own failings as king. Instead of listening to the counsel and support God gave him through the prophet Samuel, he allowed his anger to grow into bitterness and rage. He became jealous of David and in an outburst of rage even tried to kill his own son because of his support of David. The fits of rage were often followed by times of extreme remorse. Those times were short and Saul became more and more obsessed with killing David (1 Samuel 15-31). Moses and Saul stand in sharp contrast in how they dealt with their anger. Moses, until the end, turned his over to the Lord. Saul kept his anger, nursing it until it grew to be a spirit that tormented him (1 Samuel 16:14-23).
Saturday, January 17, 2009
ANGER! 5
Angry people tend to justify or suppress their anger rather than deal with it. Moses seemed to handle this issue well. When he got angry, he expressed his anger to the Lord and seemed to be able to leave it there. That ability served him well until near the end. Something happened that allowed the anger to fester and grow inside of him until a poor rock received the brunt of his frustration. Perhaps it was the years of being the focus of his people’s discontent. Perhaps the death of his sister was the final straw. Whatever it was, the only voice he could hear was that of his anger.
I grew up in a home where it was not okay to be angry. When anger was expressed, it was usually done in an explosive, frightening manner. Of course, that’s what happens when anger is suppressed. It builds and builds until there is an explosion. As a result, I never gave myself permission to be angry. I remember what an insight it was when I began recognizing some of my feelings as actually being anger. The next step was to get over the need to constantly justify to myself and others the feelings I had. Healing began in learning to recognize anger as a sign that something inside me or in my world was out of balance. What I learned was that anger of itself is neither good nor bad. It simply is. The key lies in what is done with
the anger. What I still work on is turning the anger over to the Lord so that I can use it to help me find where the imbalance is and receive the grace to deal with it.
What finally undid Moses was an inability to handle the constant criticism. He certainly took more than his share of criticism for forty years. Amazingly he always seemed to be able to remember that Israel’s issues were with God and not him. Still it was hard to keep separate what was personal and what belonged to God, especially when the mob wanted to stone him (Num 14:10).
Criticism usually identifies places where we can learn and grow, even when given by an enemy. Unless we are ill mannered or resentful, we tend not to make our criticism of others personal. The same is true of others when they criticize us. However, criticism becomes deadly when the judgmental voice inside our own heads extends a loud “amen” to the criticism we hear. From there it goes on to use that criticism to affirm what sorry excuses for human beings we are.
Taking hits from those two directions will finally lead to self-destruction or a fierce self-preservation. For self-preservation one can easily drop into a childish self-pity that comforts itself by attacking the criticizers. The anger can no longer be suppressed. Some take on a pessimistic world view. Fearing confrontation, others withdraw from their critics leaving them to figure out what they have done wrong. Gossip, envy, slander, and fear grow in this fertile ground. Branding our perceived enemies as unfair, spiteful, insensitive and the like, we find ourselves, like Moses, standing before the rock with his rod in hand, cursing them as rebels against God and a blight on our lives (Num 20:10).
I grew up in a home where it was not okay to be angry. When anger was expressed, it was usually done in an explosive, frightening manner. Of course, that’s what happens when anger is suppressed. It builds and builds until there is an explosion. As a result, I never gave myself permission to be angry. I remember what an insight it was when I began recognizing some of my feelings as actually being anger. The next step was to get over the need to constantly justify to myself and others the feelings I had. Healing began in learning to recognize anger as a sign that something inside me or in my world was out of balance. What I learned was that anger of itself is neither good nor bad. It simply is. The key lies in what is done with
the anger. What I still work on is turning the anger over to the Lord so that I can use it to help me find where the imbalance is and receive the grace to deal with it.What finally undid Moses was an inability to handle the constant criticism. He certainly took more than his share of criticism for forty years. Amazingly he always seemed to be able to remember that Israel’s issues were with God and not him. Still it was hard to keep separate what was personal and what belonged to God, especially when the mob wanted to stone him (Num 14:10).
Criticism usually identifies places where we can learn and grow, even when given by an enemy. Unless we are ill mannered or resentful, we tend not to make our criticism of others personal. The same is true of others when they criticize us. However, criticism becomes deadly when the judgmental voice inside our own heads extends a loud “amen” to the criticism we hear. From there it goes on to use that criticism to affirm what sorry excuses for human beings we are.
Taking hits from those two directions will finally lead to self-destruction or a fierce self-preservation. For self-preservation one can easily drop into a childish self-pity that comforts itself by attacking the criticizers. The anger can no longer be suppressed. Some take on a pessimistic world view. Fearing confrontation, others withdraw from their critics leaving them to figure out what they have done wrong. Gossip, envy, slander, and fear grow in this fertile ground. Branding our perceived enemies as unfair, spiteful, insensitive and the like, we find ourselves, like Moses, standing before the rock with his rod in hand, cursing them as rebels against God and a blight on our lives (Num 20:10).
Friday, January 16, 2009
ANGER! 4
Laughter is an important tool in dealing with anger. We know that Abraham and Sarah laughed at the birth of Isaac (Gen 21:1-7). Like a child David danced before the Lord in his underwear (2 Sam 6:14-15). Moses’ life, however, is recorded in sober tones. Even the Psalm he wrote has a melancholy theme (Psalm 90). This is not to say that Moses was without humor in his life. He could not have survived those forty years without it. It seems though that by the end of the forty years humor had been drained from his life. The rigidity that was produced became a breeding ground for resentment to grow.
When life gets to heavy and serious, we need to pull back for a moment and watch old Abraham and Sarah making over their baby Isaac, whose name means laughter, or shake our heads in deligh.jpg)
t as David dances very undignified before the ark of God as it is brought into Jerusalem. Laughing with them helps put our own situations in much better perspective. Laughing at our own foolish moments and indignities gives life back its flavor and zest.
Laughter helps us cope with our responsibilities. Being responsible is a virtue. However, being responsible does not mean that you have to fix every mess, solve every dispute, or make up for all the careless and foolish things others do. This misguided view of responsibility was going to send Moses to an early grave until his father-in-law intervened (Ex 18:13-26).
Listen to an angry person sometime. So much of the anger is a reaction not merely to the hurt another has caused but to the other person’s refusal to be “fixed.” After all, the angry person was only being helpful, only trying to do what was best, only being responsible since no one else was going to be. This too becomes a breeding ground for resentment and bitterness. Angry people need discernment to know what they can change and what they cannot change, what they can control and what is beyond their control. They also need to learn how to trust others.
Moses struggled with this issue of trust. He placed an unbearable burden on himself in settling all the disputes of Israel. God had given him the responsibility of leadership. It never crossed his mind that this responsibility was to be shared. After all no one would do it as well as he did or be as dedicated to his responsibilities. Jethro recognized the danger for his son-in-law. He knew that a tired, burned out leader would become an angry, resentful leader.
Having high standards is a virtue, but angry people make poor standard setters. One effective tool for managing anger is learning to trust others enough to delegate responsibility to them. This requires an acceptance that things won’t get done the way we would do them (They may actually be done better.). The personal benefit is freeing time and energy to work on more important priorities or different projects. The organizational benefit is that more people are better served.
When life gets to heavy and serious, we need to pull back for a moment and watch old Abraham and Sarah making over their baby Isaac, whose name means laughter, or shake our heads in deligh
.jpg)
t as David dances very undignified before the ark of God as it is brought into Jerusalem. Laughing with them helps put our own situations in much better perspective. Laughing at our own foolish moments and indignities gives life back its flavor and zest.Laughter helps us cope with our responsibilities. Being responsible is a virtue. However, being responsible does not mean that you have to fix every mess, solve every dispute, or make up for all the careless and foolish things others do. This misguided view of responsibility was going to send Moses to an early grave until his father-in-law intervened (Ex 18:13-26).
Listen to an angry person sometime. So much of the anger is a reaction not merely to the hurt another has caused but to the other person’s refusal to be “fixed.” After all, the angry person was only being helpful, only trying to do what was best, only being responsible since no one else was going to be. This too becomes a breeding ground for resentment and bitterness. Angry people need discernment to know what they can change and what they cannot change, what they can control and what is beyond their control. They also need to learn how to trust others.
Moses struggled with this issue of trust. He placed an unbearable burden on himself in settling all the disputes of Israel. God had given him the responsibility of leadership. It never crossed his mind that this responsibility was to be shared. After all no one would do it as well as he did or be as dedicated to his responsibilities. Jethro recognized the danger for his son-in-law. He knew that a tired, burned out leader would become an angry, resentful leader.
Having high standards is a virtue, but angry people make poor standard setters. One effective tool for managing anger is learning to trust others enough to delegate responsibility to them. This requires an acceptance that things won’t get done the way we would do them (They may actually be done better.). The personal benefit is freeing time and energy to work on more important priorities or different projects. The organizational benefit is that more people are better served.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
ANGER! 3
The first step in managing anger properly is to recognize its presence and its influence in our lives. It seems that the sole mission of some people on this earth is to be annoying. We all have those people in our lives. Israel was only three days from the Red Sea, where God had miraculously rescued them from Pharaoh, and they were grumbling against Moses (Ex 15:24). And on it went (Ex 16:2 and Ex 17:2). For forty years Moses had to put up with that. Bad circumstances and disagreeable people take their toll over time.
The question is not whether others are annoying or circumstances are difficult. The question is how much you let it get to you. Moses did remarkably well with the annoyance for nearly forty years. Something changed near the end of that time. The years of grumbling finally got to him. The system that had worked so long and so well managing his anger finally broke down. Annoyance was turning into resentment.
The early signs of resentment are seen in our speech. How we speak of others paints a picture of what is going on inside. All the words may be right at first, but the tone and body language that goes with those words say something different. Later comes the compulsive need to talk about why others are so annoying. The words become more cutting. Every little action, even the clothes that the person wears, comes under careful scrutiny. When pushed far enough, there is finally the raging tirade against the sins of others that drips with self-pity. Worse yet this resentment has a way of offering its own cold comfort. As resentment grows, it makes us feel good by reminding us how badly others are treating us. This gives a sense of moral superiority not unlike the self-righteous anger of the Pharisees toward the “sinners” of their day.
The question is not whether others are annoying or circumstances are difficult. The question is how much you let it get to you. Moses did remarkably well with the annoyance for nearly forty years. Something changed near the end of that time. The years of grumbling finally got to him. The system that had worked so long and so well managing his anger finally broke down. Annoyance was turning into resentment.
The early signs of resentment are seen in our speech. How we speak of others paints a picture of what is going on inside. All the words may be right at first, but the tone and body language that goes with those words say something different. Later comes the compulsive need to talk about why others are so annoying. The words become more cutting. Every little action, even the clothes that the person wears, comes under careful scrutiny. When pushed far enough, there is finally the raging tirade against the sins of others that drips with self-pity. Worse yet this resentment has a way of offering its own cold comfort. As resentment grows, it makes us feel good by reminding us how badly others are treating us. This gives a sense of moral superiority not unlike the self-righteous anger of the Pharisees toward the “sinners” of their day.
When we read the scriptures, we can’t see Moses’ body language when he spoke to Israel over the years. We can’t hear the tone that painted his voice. We can’t hear the inner voices that were coaching him. We can only see what finally happened as he lashed out verbally at the people of Israel and then viciously struck the rock twice. At that moment Moses’ heart was far from God.
As one who has struggled with this sin in my own life, I know how slowly yet steadily resentment creeps into one’s life. The need to control it becomes overwhelming sometimes because the anger that wells from that resentment can be frightening. The problem is that the more that we try to control it the stronger it gets. The longer we allow it to grow in us the more poisoned our thinking and feeling become. Worse still, the place that God occupies in our lives becomes smaller and smaller until at times it is overrun by the anger.
Our salvation comes ironically not in learning how to control the resentment but in giving up its control to Christ. It is only his love and forgiveness that can drive out the demon. Somewhere along the road to the Promised Land, Moses stopped giving his resentment over to the Lord and began keeping it and nurturing it inside.
ANGER! (revised)
(Shirley made some excellent comments on the first section of my paper on anger. I have rewritten portions of it, and submit it to you now.)
The mob had grown quiet. All that could be heard was the desert wind. The blowing sand burned in their eyes, but they could see the anger in his face. His hands were still shaking and his heart pounding as he walked away from the rock. The water rushing from the rock flowed like the contempt he felt toward his own people that day. They were back at the spot where it all began. At this place nearly forty years before, God had told Israel to go in and take the Promised Land (Num 14). Out of fear and lack of faith they had refused. That rebellious generation had been cursed to live out their days in the desert. Their descendants were no different from their parents. They had learned nothing in those miserable years.
He had barely buried his sister when they came at him grumbling about his leadership and demanding water. They would not even give him time to grieve. This same litany of demands and complains he had heard forty years ago. Once more he humbled himself before God asking what he should do. His answer was simple and lacking drama. “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” was all he said. For Moses their whining and self-pity was more than he could stand. All the accumulated anger, exasperation, and frustration of those years boiled to the surface as he stood before those rebels and twice struck the rock with his staff instead of speaking to the rock as he was commanded (Num 20:1-11).
God was so disappointed in Moses. First, he failed to honor God before Israel with his words. He spoke harshly, “Listen you
rebels must we bring you water out of this rock (emphasis added)?” points to Moses’ judgment on these people instead of “Speak to that rock”, which would point to the grace and love of God. In so doing he communicated the opposite of what God wanted to say at that moment. He failed to show proper deference to the presence of God among his people.
Second, he allowed his anger to take charge of his actions by striking the rock instead of speaking to it. By his disobedience, he demonstrated a lack of trust in God and his word. In his anger he did not believe that speaking was enough. As a result his leadership of Israel would end at the edge of the Promised Land (Num 20:12). Such is the power of the sin of anger.
It had to have been a bitter pill for Moses to swallow. For forty years he had led the children of Israel in the desert to get them into the Promised Land. Now that they were finally ready to enter this good land, he would not be able to go with them. How could this be? How could this man who was “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth” (Num 12:3) and to whom God had spoken “face to face” (Num 12:8) not be permitted into the Promised Land?
The mob had grown quiet. All that could be heard was the desert wind. The blowing sand burned in their eyes, but they could see the anger in his face. His hands were still shaking and his heart pounding as he walked away from the rock. The water rushing from the rock flowed like the contempt he felt toward his own people that day. They were back at the spot where it all began. At this place nearly forty years before, God had told Israel to go in and take the Promised Land (Num 14). Out of fear and lack of faith they had refused. That rebellious generation had been cursed to live out their days in the desert. Their descendants were no different from their parents. They had learned nothing in those miserable years.
He had barely buried his sister when they came at him grumbling about his leadership and demanding water. They would not even give him time to grieve. This same litany of demands and complains he had heard forty years ago. Once more he humbled himself before God asking what he should do. His answer was simple and lacking drama. “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” was all he said. For Moses their whining and self-pity was more than he could stand. All the accumulated anger, exasperation, and frustration of those years boiled to the surface as he stood before those rebels and twice struck the rock with his staff instead of speaking to the rock as he was commanded (Num 20:1-11).
God was so disappointed in Moses. First, he failed to honor God before Israel with his words. He spoke harshly, “Listen you
rebels must we bring you water out of this rock (emphasis added)?” points to Moses’ judgment on these people instead of “Speak to that rock”, which would point to the grace and love of God. In so doing he communicated the opposite of what God wanted to say at that moment. He failed to show proper deference to the presence of God among his people.Second, he allowed his anger to take charge of his actions by striking the rock instead of speaking to it. By his disobedience, he demonstrated a lack of trust in God and his word. In his anger he did not believe that speaking was enough. As a result his leadership of Israel would end at the edge of the Promised Land (Num 20:12). Such is the power of the sin of anger.
It had to have been a bitter pill for Moses to swallow. For forty years he had led the children of Israel in the desert to get them into the Promised Land. Now that they were finally ready to enter this good land, he would not be able to go with them. How could this be? How could this man who was “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth” (Num 12:3) and to whom God had spoken “face to face” (Num 12:8) not be permitted into the Promised Land?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
ANGER! 2
There is nothing wrong with getting angry. Anger is just a symptom of something in our relationships or environment that is out of kilter. Many times Moses got angry with the people he was leading. They gave him just cause by their never-ending grumbling about his leadership and the hardships they had to endure in the desert. When he headed for the rock that day under command of the Lord, he had plenty of reason to be angry. The people were once more quarreling with him and wallowing in self-pity over their condition in the desert. They would not even give him time to grieve the death of his sister. It was not that Moses was angry that caused God to judge his servant so harshly. It was what Moses chose to do with his anger that day.
Jesus cautioned his disciples about the power of anger if not handled properly (Matt 5:21-26). If allowed to fester, it becomes the breeding ground for murder. Moses knew this truth firsthand since in anger he had killed a man and then had to flee for his life (Ex 2:11-15).
We all know people in the neighborhood, or dare I say at church, who like Moses, fail to manage their anger properly. The tragedy is that like Moses, they are people filled with great potential but become trapped in resentment. The success of others and the slights, real and imagined, received in this life can lead to an unending cycle of self-pity. For some reason they never learned how to recognize and manage their anger. Angry people very often don’t see themselves as angry. They see themselves more as a victim. By God’s grace this study is intended to help you recognize anger and its power in your life and show you what God does to transform that power through the fruit of the Holy Spirit, joy.
Jesus cautioned his disciples about the power of anger if not handled properly (Matt 5:21-26). If allowed to fester, it becomes the breeding ground for murder. Moses knew this truth firsthand since in anger he had killed a man and then had to flee for his life (Ex 2:11-15).
We all know people in the neighborhood, or dare I say at church, who like Moses, fail to manage their anger properly. The tragedy is that like Moses, they are people filled with great potential but become trapped in resentment. The success of others and the slights, real and imagined, received in this life can lead to an unending cycle of self-pity. For some reason they never learned how to recognize and manage their anger. Angry people very often don’t see themselves as angry. They see themselves more as a victim. By God’s grace this study is intended to help you recognize anger and its power in your life and show you what God does to transform that power through the fruit of the Holy Spirit, joy.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
ANGER!
The mob had grown quiet. All that could be heard was the desert wind. The blowing sand burned in their eyes, but they could see the anger in his face. His hands were still shaking and his heart pounding as he walked away from the rock. The water rushing from the rock flowed like the contempt he felt toward his own people that day. They were back at the spot where it all began. At this place nearly forty years before, God had told Israel to go in and take the Promised Land (Num 14). Out of fear and lack of faith they had refused. That rebellious generation had been cursed to live out their days in the desert. Their descendants were no different from their parents. They had learned nothing in those miserable years.
He had barely buried his sister when they came at him grumbling about his leadership and demanding water. They would not even give him time to grieve. This same litany of demands and complains he had heard forty years ago. Once more he humbled himself before God asking what he should do. His answer was simple and lacking drama. “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” was all he said. For Moses their whining and self-pity was more than he could stand. All the accumulated anger, exasperation, and frustration of those years boiled to the surface as he stood before those rebels and twice struck the rock with his staff.
God was so disappointed in Moses. By his disobedience, he demonstrated a lack of trust in God and his word and he had dishonored God before Israel. As a result his leadership of Israel would end at the edge of the Promised Land (Num 20:1-3). Such is the power of the sin of anger.
It had to have been a bitter pill for Moses to swallow. For forty years he had led the children of Israel in the desert to get them into the Promised Land. Now that they were finally ready to enter this good land, he would not be able to go with them. How could this be? How could this man who was “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth” (Num 12:3) and to whom God had spoken “face to face” (Num 12:8) not be permitted into the Promised Land?
He had barely buried his sister when they came at him grumbling about his leadership and demanding water. They would not even give him time to grieve. This same litany of demands and complains he had heard forty years ago. Once more he humbled himself before God asking what he should do. His answer was simple and lacking drama. “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” was all he said. For Moses their whining and self-pity was more than he could stand. All the accumulated anger, exasperation, and frustration of those years boiled to the surface as he stood before those rebels and twice struck the rock with his staff.
God was so disappointed in Moses. By his disobedience, he demonstrated a lack of trust in God and his word and he had dishonored God before Israel. As a result his leadership of Israel would end at the edge of the Promised Land (Num 20:1-3). Such is the power of the sin of anger.
It had to have been a bitter pill for Moses to swallow. For forty years he had led the children of Israel in the desert to get them into the Promised Land. Now that they were finally ready to enter this good land, he would not be able to go with them. How could this be? How could this man who was “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth” (Num 12:3) and to whom God had spoken “face to face” (Num 12:8) not be permitted into the Promised Land?
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