Let’s review what the fruit of the Holy Spirit called patience produces in our lives.
1. It moves us toward Jesus (John 11:20-22).
2. It creates honesty about our motives (John 11:21).
3. It teaches us to develop healthy boundaries (John 11:22).
4. It teaches us to recognize the affection and good wishes of others (John 11:23-24).
5. It causes us to properly reevaluate what we believe about Jesus, life, and death (John 11:24-26).
6. It causes us to reaffirm our faith in Christ (John 11:27)
7. It causes us to reaffirm our worth in Christ
8. It causes us to serve with a new spirit (John11:28)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
PATIENCE 4
Pride looks to what we have accomplished to establish our sense of worth. Patience looks to what we have received from Christ to know that we have worth. When Martha received Jesus into her home, she attempted to establish her worth in Jesus’ eyes through all her preparations. Thus Mary’s failure to help her and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern for Mary’s laziness was seen by Martha as undermining her worth as a person. Martha learned from that encounter. This time she was not focused on any preparations. She was free to focus on Jesus and what he desired to bring to her life at that moment. What she got was the love of Christ and a reaffirming of her faith in Christ. What a different Martha we see.
Grace is favor given even when there is no merit to earn that favor. Grace looks solely to the merits of Jesus earned for us at the cross. Grace gives us worth apart from what we have done or will ever do. Patience is simply living out this gift. Patience allows this gift to unfold in our lives under its own terms. Patience is impossible without the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives because it does not come to us naturally. That is why Paul calls it a fruit of the Spirit. When the Spirit is allowed to produce this fruit in our lives, others see our tremendous worth. That takes us to our last point.
When Jesus visited Martha’s home, she capped the evening with some very harsh words about her sister. Her goal for the evening had been to serve. Pride turned the evening into a frustrating disaster for her. It is a much different Martha who leaves Jesus this time and goes back to her sister. She calls her sister aside from all the other mourners and tells her of Jesus’ arrival. She refers to Jesus as “The Teacher.” When Jesus visited her home, he had come as teacher. This was quite and honor since his students were women. Teachers in Jesus’ day did not teach women. This time Martha had learned from the Teacher and was eager for her sister to receive as well.
When patience is at work, the stress level drops because the concern is no longer on what I want to do. Instead the concern is what does Jesus want me to receive and how does he want me to share it with others. Jesus taught this kind of patience by the example of his own ministry. He came not to be served but to serve (Matt 20:28). His life was focused on what his Father had given him and lived according to how that best could be shared with the world. For Jesus, that meant the cross. While he was on earth, he never used his power as the Son of God for himself. He used it in service to God and to us.
Through the working of the Holy Spirit, Jesus promises to work that kind of patience in each one of us. As we practice this fruit in our lives, we come to appreciate more deeply the love and the power of God.
Grace is favor given even when there is no merit to earn that favor. Grace looks solely to the merits of Jesus earned for us at the cross. Grace gives us worth apart from what we have done or will ever do. Patience is simply living out this gift. Patience allows this gift to unfold in our lives under its own terms. Patience is impossible without the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives because it does not come to us naturally. That is why Paul calls it a fruit of the Spirit. When the Spirit is allowed to produce this fruit in our lives, others see our tremendous worth. That takes us to our last point.
When Jesus visited Martha’s home, she capped the evening with some very harsh words about her sister. Her goal for the evening had been to serve. Pride turned the evening into a frustrating disaster for her. It is a much different Martha who leaves Jesus this time and goes back to her sister. She calls her sister aside from all the other mourners and tells her of Jesus’ arrival. She refers to Jesus as “The Teacher.” When Jesus visited her home, he had come as teacher. This was quite and honor since his students were women. Teachers in Jesus’ day did not teach women. This time Martha had learned from the Teacher and was eager for her sister to receive as well.
When patience is at work, the stress level drops because the concern is no longer on what I want to do. Instead the concern is what does Jesus want me to receive and how does he want me to share it with others. Jesus taught this kind of patience by the example of his own ministry. He came not to be served but to serve (Matt 20:28). His life was focused on what his Father had given him and lived according to how that best could be shared with the world. For Jesus, that meant the cross. While he was on earth, he never used his power as the Son of God for himself. He used it in service to God and to us.
Through the working of the Holy Spirit, Jesus promises to work that kind of patience in each one of us. As we practice this fruit in our lives, we come to appreciate more deeply the love and the power of God.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
PATIENCE 3
Pride builds a fortress of sticks. A strong wind or a careless fire and its gone. As a result pride is always fearful of the unforeseen and must always control those around it lest they carelessly destroy what it has built. Pride wishes to present a good face to the world through its acts of charity but lives with the knowledge of just how hollow that face is. Pride believes only in itself thus has worry as its high priest. Such is the insecurity of pride.
Patience invites us to shift focus from pride to the one who gives genuine security. In raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus showed his power over life and death. “I am the resurrection and the life…whoever lives and believes in me will never die,” says Jesus. How do you find greater security than that? Patience can afford to be patient because it knows who has the final say about life and death. Patience knows it can risk love because it is ultimately and always loved by Jesus. Patience invites us to not only confess our sins and receive forgiveness and cleansing but it urges us to stop for a moment and reflect on the great mystery of this high love Jesus has for us. This reflection gives perspective on life.
Reevaluation leads to reaffirmation. What a beautiful testimony Martha gave to who Jesus was. Her testimony showed tremendous insight into Jesus and his mission in this world. She saw him as the “Christ,” the Anointed or Chosen one, whom God had sent to save her people.[1] Martha also recognized that in Jesus she was seeing no ordinary man. He was also the “Son of God.” In Jesus God had taken human flesh to fulfill God’s plan to save the world. This Jesus would rescue her brother from death. She was safe putting Lazarus in his hands.
Patience enables us to reaffirm our faith in Jesus as the Christ. As Martha’s loss found resurrection in Jesus, so too our losses find new life. Christ gives us the power to turn our deepest needs over to him. We need not attempt to control or manipulate but simply receive what Christ will give confident of his power and goodness.
[1] The title “Christ” means “Anointed One”. Priests and kings were installed into office by having scented oil poured over their heads. The title “Anointed One” came to summarize for Israel her hopes that God would send one who would ultimately rescue Israel.
Patience invites us to shift focus from pride to the one who gives genuine security. In raising Lazarus from the dead, Jesus showed his power over life and death. “I am the resurrection and the life…whoever lives and believes in me will never die,” says Jesus. How do you find greater security than that? Patience can afford to be patient because it knows who has the final say about life and death. Patience knows it can risk love because it is ultimately and always loved by Jesus. Patience invites us to not only confess our sins and receive forgiveness and cleansing but it urges us to stop for a moment and reflect on the great mystery of this high love Jesus has for us. This reflection gives perspective on life.
Reevaluation leads to reaffirmation. What a beautiful testimony Martha gave to who Jesus was. Her testimony showed tremendous insight into Jesus and his mission in this world. She saw him as the “Christ,” the Anointed or Chosen one, whom God had sent to save her people.[1] Martha also recognized that in Jesus she was seeing no ordinary man. He was also the “Son of God.” In Jesus God had taken human flesh to fulfill God’s plan to save the world. This Jesus would rescue her brother from death. She was safe putting Lazarus in his hands.
Patience enables us to reaffirm our faith in Jesus as the Christ. As Martha’s loss found resurrection in Jesus, so too our losses find new life. Christ gives us the power to turn our deepest needs over to him. We need not attempt to control or manipulate but simply receive what Christ will give confident of his power and goodness.
[1] The title “Christ” means “Anointed One”. Priests and kings were installed into office by having scented oil poured over their heads. The title “Anointed One” came to summarize for Israel her hopes that God would send one who would ultimately rescue Israel.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
PATIENCE 2
In Luke 10 when Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, her motive was to exchange good hospitality for his affection. It ended in disaster for Martha. This encounter is much different. Like the visit to her home, she is upset and disappointed by Jesus’ apparent inattention to her need. This time, however, she presents her need and her feelings without the anger and frustration present before. Her focus was on Jesus not any preparations. She was free from the tension of “Let’s make a deal.”
Spirit-produced patience moves us beyond the need to bargain with Jesus for what we want. Before it does that it first enables us to be honest with God about why we want what we want. The role of confession is vital at this point. Daily confession is not for the purpose of rehashing our sins. Its purpose is to provide a setting for an honest look at what motivates our actions. We then take responsibility for our sinful motives and actions. God responds by forgiving our sin for the sake of Christ’s payment for our sin on the cross. Not only does he forgive us but also he goes on to purify the motives of our hearts (1 John 1:8-9). All this the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to prepare us to bring our requests to God.
When Jesus visited Martha’s house, she had an issue with Mary and her failure to help her in the kitchen. But it was Jesus who caught the brunt of her anger. Martha had failed to establish healthy boundaries. Her preparations took her to the point of exhaustion and total frustration rather than to service. Her worrying and stewing over Mary’s failure to help and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern led her to be very rude to her house guest. Her outburst brought a reprimand from Jesus.
The fruit of patience brought a different Martha to Jesus this time. Instead of anger and frustration demanding that Jesus take action, Martha patiently presented her need concerning her brother. Once our motives have been clarified and purified through confession and forgiveness, we too will find that our emotions do not have as much power to force us beyond healthy boundaries whether in our relationship to God or to others. Patience helps us to seek not merely what is right from our perspective but to receive from God what is righteous in his eyes. Patience helps us recognize when we are pushing ourselves too far. Patience shifts our focus from self and self-pity to Christ and his love for us.
In this brief exchange between Jesus and Martha, we can sense that Martha genuinely accepts Jesus’ words of comfort. Pride is always suspicious of the motives of others. It always reads into others’ words of comfort and affection its own selfishness and ambition. It ultimately robs us of the very thing we desperately seek, which is the love and affection of others.
Patience given by the Holy Spirit produces much different fruit. It recognizes that not everyone will express affection the way we might. It is willing to give others the benefit of the doubt when they do not respond to our acts of affection the way we think they should. It rejoices in the moments of intimacy we are given with friends and loved ones. It enables us to let go of times when we are unappreciated. Patience always reminds us that our worth is in the one who died for us and rose again to give us eternal life. His first motive in dealing with us is always love.
Spirit-produced patience moves us beyond the need to bargain with Jesus for what we want. Before it does that it first enables us to be honest with God about why we want what we want. The role of confession is vital at this point. Daily confession is not for the purpose of rehashing our sins. Its purpose is to provide a setting for an honest look at what motivates our actions. We then take responsibility for our sinful motives and actions. God responds by forgiving our sin for the sake of Christ’s payment for our sin on the cross. Not only does he forgive us but also he goes on to purify the motives of our hearts (1 John 1:8-9). All this the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to prepare us to bring our requests to God.
When Jesus visited Martha’s house, she had an issue with Mary and her failure to help her in the kitchen. But it was Jesus who caught the brunt of her anger. Martha had failed to establish healthy boundaries. Her preparations took her to the point of exhaustion and total frustration rather than to service. Her worrying and stewing over Mary’s failure to help and Jesus’ apparent lack of concern led her to be very rude to her house guest. Her outburst brought a reprimand from Jesus.
The fruit of patience brought a different Martha to Jesus this time. Instead of anger and frustration demanding that Jesus take action, Martha patiently presented her need concerning her brother. Once our motives have been clarified and purified through confession and forgiveness, we too will find that our emotions do not have as much power to force us beyond healthy boundaries whether in our relationship to God or to others. Patience helps us to seek not merely what is right from our perspective but to receive from God what is righteous in his eyes. Patience helps us recognize when we are pushing ourselves too far. Patience shifts our focus from self and self-pity to Christ and his love for us.
In this brief exchange between Jesus and Martha, we can sense that Martha genuinely accepts Jesus’ words of comfort. Pride is always suspicious of the motives of others. It always reads into others’ words of comfort and affection its own selfishness and ambition. It ultimately robs us of the very thing we desperately seek, which is the love and affection of others.
Patience given by the Holy Spirit produces much different fruit. It recognizes that not everyone will express affection the way we might. It is willing to give others the benefit of the doubt when they do not respond to our acts of affection the way we think they should. It rejoices in the moments of intimacy we are given with friends and loved ones. It enables us to let go of times when we are unappreciated. Patience always reminds us that our worth is in the one who died for us and rose again to give us eternal life. His first motive in dealing with us is always love.
Friday, June 12, 2009
PATIENCE 1
Most Christians are familiar with Jesus’ visit to Mary and Martha in Luke 10. Many are not aware of another visit to these same women (John 11:20-28). This visit was under very different circumstances. This visit was occasioned by the death of their brother Lazarus. Here we meet Martha again but this time a very different Martha. On this visit she models the very essence of the fruit of the Spirit called patience.
The story begins with Lazarus dying. An urgent message is sent to Jesus to come and heal his friend. Strangely he waited two more days before going to his friends. By the time he arrives, Lazarus has been in his tomb for four days. It is too late. Yet the sisters waited for Jesus. When he arrives, Martha is the one who goes out to meet him. This is where we see the Spirit shine in Martha’s life.
John tells us, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him.” What a different picture we see of Martha from Luke 10. Here she goes out to meet Jesus, not clean the house, serve a meal, or fuss over all the preparations. She goes to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary had done earlier. She goes to engage him about her brother’s death. She goes to see him and he alone is the focus of her attention.
Patience is often portrayed as sitting and waiting. Patience is much more active than that. When we are engaged by circumstances that challenge our patience, the first step is not to simply sit and wait. The first step is to bring our hurt and concern to Jesus. He is the one to give our problems proper perspective. He is the one who can solve them. He is the one to whom we need to give our undivided attention. Patience begins by study of the Word and struggling with that Word in prayer and reflection. There the Spirit draws us. There is where Jesus meets us.
The story begins with Lazarus dying. An urgent message is sent to Jesus to come and heal his friend. Strangely he waited two more days before going to his friends. By the time he arrives, Lazarus has been in his tomb for four days. It is too late. Yet the sisters waited for Jesus. When he arrives, Martha is the one who goes out to meet him. This is where we see the Spirit shine in Martha’s life.
John tells us, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him.” What a different picture we see of Martha from Luke 10. Here she goes out to meet Jesus, not clean the house, serve a meal, or fuss over all the preparations. She goes to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary had done earlier. She goes to engage him about her brother’s death. She goes to see him and he alone is the focus of her attention.
Patience is often portrayed as sitting and waiting. Patience is much more active than that. When we are engaged by circumstances that challenge our patience, the first step is not to simply sit and wait. The first step is to bring our hurt and concern to Jesus. He is the one to give our problems proper perspective. He is the one who can solve them. He is the one to whom we need to give our undivided attention. Patience begins by study of the Word and struggling with that Word in prayer and reflection. There the Spirit draws us. There is where Jesus meets us.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
CONFESSION AND FORGIVENESS FOR PRIDE
If you have felt convicted by any of the questions below concerning the sin of pride, what will you do? John has some wise advice for all of us. He says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Let us examine those words more closely.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. Nobody likes to be criticized. Nobody likes to be used. Who likes being cheated out of what is rightfully theirs? My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Ouch! Some of the questions you concerning pride likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our prideful habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our pride. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin of pride. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that pride has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the pride that poisons our hearts, lashes out at God, and consumes us with self-pity. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my pride and self-pity in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my prideful thoughts and deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my pride. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. “Because of what I did through Jesus, you find me compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me” (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of pride. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you have affected)
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness
Using these steps can go a long way in promoting healing and reconciliation.
[1] For more information contact Ambassadors of Reconciliation at PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108, (406)256-1583, or visit their website at www.HisPeace.org.
“If we claim to be without sin…” Any sin can be rationalized into a virtue. After all we are entitled to our feelings. We have a right to be upset. Nobody likes to be criticized. Nobody likes to be used. Who likes being cheated out of what is rightfully theirs? My shortcomings and failures cannot be as bad as those other people. Far from being wrong, sin argues, it is actually right and proper not only to feel this way but also to act this way.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Ouch! Some of the questions you concerning pride likely raised an “ouch!” When we look into the mirror of God’s will for our lives, our sin begins to stand out. Certainly it is natural to want to hide, blame, or explain away our prideful habits, but that doesn’t change their reality. Actually God seeks us out when we sin, he ignores our explanations, and he gets upset when we point at the sins of others. All God wants from us is our confession (Gen 3:8-13).
What does it mean to “confess” our sins? To confess literally means to come into agreement with. When we confess our sins, God brings us into agreement with his judgment on our pride. When we confess our sins, we take ownership and responsibility for where we have come up short of God’s requirements for our lives. When we confess our sins, we don’t tack on any disclaimers such as if, but, or maybe to explain or justify our sin. When we confess our sins, we simply say, “This is my sin of pride. I take responsibility for it. I am so sorry for offending you, my holy God.”
What happens when we confess our sins? “(God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” The wall that pride has established between us and heaven is torn down by forgiveness. We can trust God to forgive because of what his only Son has done for us. When he died on the cross, he took God’s judgment on his own shoulders that was rightfully ours because of the pride that poisons our hearts, lashes out at God, and consumes us with self-pity. God wrote our debt “paid in full” when he raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 4:25). That forgiveness was costly to God but is now free to us. That forgiveness is ours whenever we confess our sins.
God doesn’t stop there. He goes on to promise that he will also “purify us from all unrighteousness.” To be made righteous is to be restored to the order the Creator intended. For instance, if your car breaks down, in a sense it becomes unrighteous because it is no longer operating according to the designers’ specifications. In our unrighteousness we are like that broken car. Because of our sin we are not operating the way God designed us at creation. What forgiveness does is give us the righteousness of Christ so we can be what God designed us to be (Rom 3:22-24). Our righteousness will only find its completeness when we are forever in heaven with Christ where we will no longer have sins to confess. In the meantime because we daily sin much, we flee to God in confess to receive his forgiveness and be purified from all unrighteousness. It is in that process that God grows and matures us as his people.
Here is a form of confession for you to use based on 1 John 1:8-9. (If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us) Father, I admit that I have acted out my pride and self-pity in ways hurtful to you and others. (If we confess our sins) I take full responsibility for my prideful thoughts and deeds and agree with your judgment upon them. (God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins) I believe that Jesus Christ took your judgment upon my sin to the cross with him. My debt is now paid. (and will purify us from all unrighteousness) In your mercy set me on a new path that releases me from the power of my pride. Give me courage to not only confess my sin to you but also those whom I have hurt with my anger. I ask it all in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hear now God’s words to you based on your confession. “Because of what I did through Jesus, you find me compassionate and gracious; slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to what justice requires. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is my love for those who fear me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. As a father has compassion on his children, so I have compassion on those who fear me” (Psalm 103:8-13 paraphrased).
Part of that righteousness Christ gives us is the strength and freedom to go to those whom you have offended and hurt. This can be the hardest part of dealing with our sin of pride. Ambassadors of Reconciliation[1] have the best help I have seen with the Seven A’s of Confession.
1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you have affected)
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness
Using these steps can go a long way in promoting healing and reconciliation.
[1] For more information contact Ambassadors of Reconciliation at PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108, (406)256-1583, or visit their website at www.HisPeace.org.
PRIDE 8
Here are some questions for you to see how pride may be at work in your life based on Martha's story in Luke 10:38-42.
How true is it of you that you must give in order to get (v. 38)?
How often do you feel a sense of entitlement because of all that you have done for others (v. 39)?
How frequently do you feel you must put the needs of others ahead of your own (v. 40a)?
How hard is it for you to acknowledge your own hurt and ask for help (v. 40b)?
How true is it of you that you have to earn the affection of others because love is not simply given?
How do you react to the criticism of others (v. 41)?
How do you react when someone is selected for a position you expected to fill or promoted in your place (v. 42)?
How do you react when another’s gifts seem greater than your own?
How hard is it for you when others don’t seem to notice or care when you’ve done something good for them? How hard is it for you to take credit when you’ve done something good for others?
How do you feel when others identify with your weaknesses or problems by relating them to their own?
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